


Shelter

by Caramelquokka0325



Series: Home [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Caring, Deaf Character, Disabled Character, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epilepsy, Family, Family Bonding, Growing Up Together, Multi, Open Adoption, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Service Dogs, learning about themselves, soft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caramelquokka0325/pseuds/Caramelquokka0325
Summary: Time never slowed down. The boys were growing up and moving into their own lives. But growing pains were sure to come. Minho and Jisung realize being together is harder than they thought. Hyunjin and Seungmin struggle with functioning in a world not tailored to meet their needs. And Felix and Jeongin learn that family changes as people grow up.Chan and Changbin have to adapt as their boys grow and learn who they really are. The most important thing they can do is offer a shelter they can return to. A safe space to be loved no matter what happens.
Series: Home [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837153
Comments: 121
Kudos: 110





	1. Chan

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Welcome back to this series! Or if it is your first time, hello! So happy to continue this!! This first chapter is a bit slow but I’m coming back into things slowly! I will update everyone’s ages so everyone knows how much time has passed between Sanctuary! 
> 
> Minho 20  
> Hyunjin 19  
> Jisung 18  
> Seungmin 12  
> Felix 9  
> Jeongin 6

Chan woke up to the smell of something burning. It took him a minute to place what he was smelling before his eyes shot open. He reached over and shook Ara’s shoulder, already sliding out of bed and heading out of their bedroom to find the fire.

He only found Seungmin and Felix in the kitchen, making breakfast.

“What’s going on?” Chan asked, looking over the kitchen to make sure nothing was on fire.

“He found out about the surprise.” Felix whispered loudly to Seungmin.

“Just making breakfast.” Seungmin replied, cutting up fruit.

“Oh…” Chan nodded. That wasn’t that bad. But something had definitely burned.

He found the culprit in the trash. He carefully lifted out a blackened piece of toast. At this point it could be a brick.

“It was an accident.” Felix said softly.

“This is… impressive.” Chan let it fall again.

“He had it on the bagel setting.” Seungmin told him. “It’s okay, I made more.”

Chan was more worried about airing out the house from the burnt toast smell. But he didn’t say anything further. It was sweet they were making breakfast on their own. Ara had been teaching them to cook recently, especially Felix. He adored cooking, running to the kitchen every time Chan or Ara started to prepare a meal.

“Fruit, toast and eggs.” Chan observed. “Looks delicious.”

“Felix helped with the eggs and the toast.” Seungmin told him.

Felix shyly looked at the floor, happy with the praise.

Felix absolutely adored Seungmin. He looked up to him in every way. Even height wise, Seungmin was a little taller than him, his twelve-year-old body starting to stretch out while Felix was still small for nine.

“Someone woke me up and then zoomed out of the room.” Ara poked him in the side as she walked into the kitchen, opening up the window as if everything was totally normal.

“Sorry.” Chan shrugged sheepishly.

“Thanks sweetheart.” Ara pressed a kiss to the side of Seungmin’s head. “Looks lovely.”

They had breakfast together as usual. Weekends were always relaxed and fun. Just enjoying family time. Seungmin did have a baseball game later in the morning so they got ready for that.

Felix was the first one downstairs when it was ready to go. He had on a light blue shirt and a bucket hat to protect him from the sun. Chan marveled a bit at how much he’s grown as he sat down to tie his shoes.

“Can we play together on the grass?” Felix asked, looking up at him.

There was an empty grass area that Felix and Chan played catch on while they waited for Seungmin’s game to start.

“Did you bring your glove?” Chan asked.

Felix ran back upstairs to retrieve it. Chan smiled. Felix was far from the withdrawn, stoic child he had been when he was younger. He was full of energy and emotion and honestly, was one of the most emotionally sensitive kids Chan had met.

He was definitely a giver. Where he used to enjoy spending time on his own, he now couldn’t stand to be alone for too long. He would even bring his homework to Seungmin’s room if he was lonely.

“Felix is doing it again.” Seungmin groaned as he joined Chan.

“You’re fine.” Chan consoled him. “He’s just excited.”

Felix sometimes started to bother Seungmin with the way he hung around him constantly and wanted to mirror his every move.

He wanted to play baseball too but Chan and Ara decided to have him do soccer instead so Seungmin could have something of his own.

While waiting for Seungmin’s team to finish their warmups and start playing, Chan threw a ball to Felix on the grass. It was nice to put away the stress of the week and spend some time together.

“Are we calling tonight?” Felix asked him.

“With Minho? Yeah, we’ll call tonight.” Chan nodded and tossed him the ball.

They called Minho twice a week fairly consistently since he was away at college. Felix had recently started talking to Minho about soccer, beyond excited that Minho knew all about the sport. Minho had promised to play with him when he visited.

“Hey there.” Ara came up to them. “His game is starting.”

Chan held the ball and shrugged his glove off, taking Felix’s as well so he could run over to the field.

Ara wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked back.

“I overheard some girls trying to decide if Felix was your little brother, or son.” she said. “Thought it was funny.”

“Oh? Or were you jealous they were crushing on me?” Chan teased.

“Never said that’s what they were talking about.” Ara bumped him with her hip.

Chan laughed and kissed her temple to make her feel better.

“Does it ever feel weird to be such young parents?” she asked.

“Not with Seungmin and Felix.” Chan replied. “But people can’t get over Minho being in college when I look like I could be in college myself.”

“My friends tease me a lot.” she grinned. “All in good fun though.”

“We can just consider ourselves lucky.” he pulled her closer as they joined Felix on the bleachers.

She nodded and smiled, pulling Felix back to rest between her knees.

At Felix’s soccer game on Tuesday, they got a little bit luckier.

Chan had always been the happiest being with his kids. When Minho visited on the holidays, he was on top of the world.

After finishing up his fourth semester, he decided to transfer back down to the nearby university. Chan had promised to keep it a secret for a little while. At least until he got home. Only Ara and him knew. He wanted to surprise the two younger boys.

Chan waited until Felix’s game had almost finished before calling him onto the field. He stayed hidden on the sidelines; a hat pulled over his head. Chan couldn’t help sneaking secret smiles with him.

“You did such a good job!” Ara gave Felix a high five as he ran up to them.

“I got snacks!” Felix held up the bag he had gotten at the end of the game.

Chan laughed. Felix was more excited for the snack bags they handed out at the end than actually winning. But he ran around and kicked the ball with all the energy of a little boy.

Minho came up then, looping one arm around Felix in a hug. Felix froze for a moment and then turned his head to see who it was.

“Minho!” Seungmin shouted.

“Happy to see me?” he was promptly tackled by Seungmin and Felix simultaneously as an answer.

It warmed Chan’s heart to see his boys laughing and talking together excitedly.

As excited as they all were, dinner time introduced the first of a new jealousy.

“I want to sit next to Minho.” Felix placed his hand on the chair next to Minho.

“But this is my seat.” Seungmin frowned.

“You always sit here. Let me have a turn!” Felix argued.

“I’ll move.” Ara diffused the situation. “You two can sit on either side.”

Felix frowned at Seungmin but moved to the other side.

“I think I’m going to keep it a secret from Jisung until school starts.” Minho said. “So I want you two to keep the secret!”

Seungmin and Felix nodded solemnly.

Chan noticed Minho watching Seungmin for a bit longer then usual, a fond smile on his face.

“What?” Seungmin paused with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth.

“Nothing.” Minho shrugged but bumped his fist lightly against his shoulder. “You’re just, like, so grown!”

Seungmin rolled his eyes but smiled proudly. Felix fidgeted in his seat.

“I’m big too.” he piped up. “I’m nine years old.”

“I know how old you are!” Minho laughed and bestowed a little attention on him.

Chan sensed a bit of a changed dynamic between the three of them. He hoped it was just because Minho had returned home and he was the center of everyone’s attention. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Unintentionally, a divide was slowly forming between Felix and the two older boys. It wasn’t malicious, the life stages were just different. It was hard to address because it wasn’t anyone’s fault necessarily.

Minho not having much to do before school was nice but also hard. He was in the house a lot, but also the tension between the three boys was more apparent.

When Chan brought Felix and Seungmin back from back to back therapy and baseball practice, Minho was immediately their focus.

He was laying on the couch watching something on television. It made Chan’s heart happy to see.

“Minho!” Felix lit up, kicking off his shoes a bit haphazardly and running over to the older boy.

It was nice to see how expressive he was and how he looked so excited snuggling up to Minho. He was so content just to lay tucked against Minho’s side. He was a simple kid and a soft soul.

“How was your day?” Minho asked, patting his side gently.

“Good.” Felix replied. “I had to talk a lot today though…”

Minho hummed. Some therapy sessions were stretching, especially for Felix, who occasionally shut down completely. It was a process as always.

Chan dropped down on the couch by them and relished being able to relax for a minute.

Seungmin came in as well.

“Hey Minho, are you ready to go?” he asked.

“Yep.” Minho checked his watch. “The movie starts soon.”

“You’re going to a movie?” Felix slid off of the couch as Minho stood up.

“Yeah, I’m going with Seungmin for a little bit.” Minho rumpled his hair.

“I want to come!” Felix sprung up excitedly.

“Ah… it’s not a movie I think you would like.” Minho grimaced.

Chan knew it was just because the movie was a bit more mature. Not too much for Seungmin but definitely for Felix. Especially because Felix was more sensitive to those things.

“I might like it!” Felix continued.

“Not this time.” Minho apologized. “Sorry Lix.”

Felix sat on the couch and crossed his arms, pouting a little.

“I promise I’ll watch a movie with you soon.” Minho leaned down and kissed his head over the back of the couch as he moved to leave.

When they had left, Chan reached out to comfort Felix.

“It wasn’t a fun movie for you, sunshine. Next time you and Minho can pick one you both like.” Chan tried to soothe him.

When he moved to touch Felix he shied away from the touch. He stood and stalked upstairs, making sure to slam the door so Chan could hear how angry he was. Chan sighed. It had been a borderline day at therapy and now this.

When he went up to bring Felix down for dinner, he was surprised to find the door locked. He frowned. They never locked doors.

“Felix?” he knocked a bit louder. “Open the door bud.”

“I’m not hungry.” Felix called out.

“Okay. I still need to talk to you.” Chan waited.

He was met with silence.

“Open the door Felix.” he made his tone sterner. “I’m not asking, I’m telling.”

The stubbornness of Felix never failed to shock Chan. It was impressive but also so frustrating.

Chan got the keys from the cupboard downstairs. Ara raised her eyebrows at him and he just made a sad face.

When he unlocked Felix’s door, he wasn’t surprised to see Felix curled up on his bed, hugging his plushie. He had his back to Chan.

“You didn’t open the door when I asked.” Chan sat on the edge of his bed. “Why not?”

“I said I’m not hungry.” Felix mumbled angrily; his voice muffled by the kitten plushie he had his face hidden in.

“Really?” Chan leaned over him, letting his body rest on his just a little, letting him know he was there for him. Felix loosened his tense muscles a little bit.

“No.” Felix replied but he sounded less sure of himself.

“I was excited to eat dinner with you.” Chan coaxed him slowly. “I want to talk to you sunshine.”

He brushed Felix’s hair back from his forehead and it got him to show his face. Chan waited. Sometimes Felix needed less stimulation when he was having a hard time. He would come around on his own.

“I wanted to go with Minho and Seungmin.” Felix murmured. “They always do stuff without me.”

It was a good thing Chan was so close because he was speaking so quietly.

“I’m… lonely.” Felix finally said.

Chan perked up. That was a new one. Felix had never expressed that emotion before.

“How do we fix it?” Felix rolled onto his back, looking up at Chan.

He often asked Chan how to “fix it” when he was having a hard time with his emotions.

“Remember all the times Minho and Seungmin say they love you?” he asked.

Felix nodded.

“They still love you even if they aren’t with you right now.” Chan said softly. “But I’m here. Mom is downstairs. You don’t have to be lonely with us.”

Felix nodded again, his face looking more relaxed.

“Do you want to come eat dinner with us?” Chan asked him with an encouraging smile.

Felix nodded and Chan leaned back so he could hop off the bed.

Chan watched him pad out of the room down to the dining room with a smile on his face. He was really proud of his baby. He was learning and growing every day.

Ara and him had been truly blessed to have Felix exceed all of their expectation. Chan remembered when he would throw a fit for hours in defiance. Now he obeyed willingly, searching for praise. Chan was always happy to give.

Seungmin on the other hand had his own struggles with hearing. He functioned perfectly well with his implants but there were some social struggles. Especially with feeling different in school. It was mostly a self-perceived difference but it was still a valid emotion.

Seungmin chose to work exceptionally hard in school. He was always top of his class. He had struggled a bit when he was younger but now, he soared. But sometimes Chan worried about the mental stress it put on him. And the family.

Felix was the one who caused the most trouble when it came to Seungmin’s studies.

Tonight he was bothering Seungmin to play with him.

“Leave me alone Felix!” Seungmin slammed down his pencil.

“You said ten minutes!” Felix argued back.

“Yeah, but it’s taking me longer because you’re bothering me!” Seungmin snapped.

Chan leaned his head back against the couch. He didn’t want to intervene all the time when they had arguments. He wanted them to learn to work them out on their own.

“Come on!” Felix tugged on his arm.

“I’m not going to play with you at all.” Seungmin finally decided.

“You’re- you’re so mean!” Felix retorted angrily and stomped up the stairs.

Chan had a good guess where he was going.

There was no door slam this time but he heard voices so he assumed Felix had gone to Minho. Seungmin let out a frustrated sigh.

“Maybe taking a break will help your brain refocus.” Chan suggested to him.

“No. I have to figure out this problem.” Seungmin mumbled and glared down at his paper.

Chan’s heart softened a little looking at him. He was only twelve years old and he acted as if one homework assignment would determine his life.

“I’m just so dumb.”

There it was. The self-deprecation Seungmin slipped into so often. Chan could never let that slide.

He came over to the table and sat next to Seungmin.

“Seungmin, this is advanced math.” he pointed out. “You’re not dumb.”

“Well then I’m dumb in the advanced class.” Seungmin rolled his eyes.

“No. You’re not.” Chan spoke more firmly. “Even if you didn’t know any of these, you’re not dumb. You’re so smart and hardworking.”

Seungmin rested his chin on his hand.

“Let me take a look at it.” Chan slid his paper over.

Seungmin lay his arms on the table and lay his cheek on it. Ara came downstairs.

“Felix has a bit of a temper right now.” she commented. “What happened?”

Neither Seungmin or Chan replied.

“This problem is very hard.” Chan said. “Even I have to really think.”

He wanted to encourage Seungmin that the skill level truly was hard. Seungmin smiled slightly, blinking his eyes slowly.

Ara came over and put her hand on Seungmin’s back.

“You look so tired baby.” she commented. “You should go to bed early.”

“I have homework.” Seungmin murmured.

Chan and Ara shared a look. His drive was admirable but he really needed to rest. Especially since he tended to work himself into the ground.

“One night won’t hurt.” Ara told him. “Finish the major assignments and go to bed right after dinner.”

“Okay.” Seungmin gave in but Chan still worried.

When it was bedtime, Chan took special time to say goodnight to Seungmin.

He had stopped reading to Seungmin now. He had tried to continue reading to Felix but he thought he was “too old”. To Chan they were both always his babies.

Felix pointedly ignore Seungmin when he snuggled into bed. Chan pulled the blankets up and tapped his nose.

“No more pouty face.” he said. Felix frowned a little more but then smoothed his expression out.

Seungmin had already taken his processors out when Chan turned to him. Chan crouched down and pressed his lips to Seungmin’s temple. He wasn’t too old for goodnight kisses.

“You’re doing so good just as you are.” Chan whispered against his soft skin. “I’m so proud of you.”

Seungmin couldn’t hear, but it soothed Chan’s heart to be able to say it anyways.

He smiled tiredly at Chan as he turned out the light.

The next morning, Seungmin seemed refreshed. Felix however was strangely quiet. Especially when Chan picked him up from school.

“Felix.” Chan looked in the mirror to see him as they drove home. “How was your day?”

Usually Felix told him but today he was silent.

“Same as usual.” Felix shrugged.

“How was… lunch?” Felix usually liked lunch. It was when he could hang out with friends.

“I didn’t eat lunch.” he replied.

“How come?” Chan frowned.

“I didn’t feel like it.” Felix stared out the window of the car.

It was definitely strange. Maybe Felix wasn’t feeling well. Chan was going to keep an eye on him but he disappeared upstairs when they got home so it slipped his mind a bit.

“Um… dad?” Seungmin knocked on his office door a bit later.

“What’s up?” Chan lifted his head.

“Felix is just acting weird.” Seungmin told him. “He’s not feeling well. Just lying on the floor.”

“The floor?” Chan frowned and followed him upstairs.

Sure enough, Felix was lying on their carpet, tracing patterns with his finger. It was a little concerning.

“What are you doing on the floor bud?” Chan asked, crouching next to him.

“Don’t want to do anything.” Felix said. His cheeks lacked their usual warmth.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chan rubbed his back.

In response, Felix tensed up. Chan started to suspect something.

“I don’t feel good. Am I okay?” Felix asked in a worried voice.

“What kind of not feeling good?” Chan asked, focusing his full attention on him.

“I feel like… I… don’t want to get sick.” Felix pressed his hand against the carpet.

“Do you have an upset tummy?” Chan tried to read between the lines.

Felix nodded, looking distraught.

“It’s okay sunshine.” Chan immediately pet his head gently. “Are you afraid?”

Felix hesitated but then nodded slowly.

Chan had suspected Felix had a fear of getting sick last time he had felt under the weather. He had been more anxious than Chan had ever seen and was highly emotional. He supposed that with Felix’s background, it was to be expected.

Last time he had a cold he had tried to take care of himself alone. He didn’t expect Chan or Ara to care for him in that way. It had been stressful then because Felix stubbornly refused their help so it was a push and pull.

Chan hoped this time would be better. He knew how to handle the situation a little more this time around.

But as Chan was learning, progress was slow and Felix wanted to take his temperature himself. With Chan supervising, he let Felix do it himself and checked the number. He was borderline so Chan had him lay down.

He was surprised when Felix called for him after he had set him up in his bed. He had expected him to want to be alone.

“How are you feeling.” Chan sat down next to him on his bed. He had a bowl on his bedside table just in case.

“Am I going to be okay?” Felix asked quietly.

“Let’s see…” Chan didn’t want to affirm right away. That wouldn’t do much. It was better if he validated Felix first and then let him know he would be fine.

“Your tummy hurts a little?” he got a nod in response. “And you feel a little icky huh?”

Chan rubbed his arm comfortingly.

“We all feel like this sometimes. It’s nothing dangerous.” Chan assured him. “I’m here to take care of you right?”

Felix lifted his hand and ran his finger over Chan’s chest lightly.

“What are you doing?” Chan asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Just checking.” Felix whispered back.

Chan gently took Felix’s hand and pressed it against his chest again.

“I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Chan promised. “I’ll make sure you’re all better soon.”

Felix fell asleep shortly after. He must have eaten something that didn’t sit well with him because he seemed to be better the next morning.

“There’s my baby.” Minho picked him up when he came in to the kitchen. He was still in his pajamas and he had sleep hair.

Felix hugged him back for a second and then squirmed to get down.

“You’re too big to hold.” Minho looked dejected for a moment and then snapped out of it and said good morning to the rest of them.

“School is starting soon.” Chan commented.

“Finally. I’m so tired of doing online classes.” Minho groaned.

“You’ve kept this a secret from Jisung for so long.” Chan raised an eyebrow.

“I want it to be special. And we are both super busy with our own school for this semester. I don’t want him to get distracted.” Minho explained.

“I understand that.” Chan nodded. “If you did tell him he would be here every day.”

“And it was nice to spend time with just you guys for a bit.” Minho smiled. “I might never live here again.”

Chan winced. That was a direct hit to the heart.

“Sorry dad.” Minho laughed. “I’ll always visit!”

“You better.” Chan warned him.

Minho sat down and completed the table. Everyone was there. Chan looked around at his family and felt peace.


	2. Jisung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone? I have been so busy with midterms! Honestly, I am feeling like Jisung right now! But I really liked this chapter! I was kind of just going with the flow since Jisung’s storyline is the only one I don’t have nailed down yet! I was wondering if you guys would like to see a romance? I set up a couple things in this chapter just in case but I can always change around since this is only the first chapter of Jisung’s POV! Just a thought! Enjoy!

When Changbin asked Jisung what he wanted to do for college he wasn’t sure at first. He wanted to do something in music, but he didn’t know what college to choose. He ended up sticking with the one closest to home. It was a good college and had a good music program.

“Are you excited to start college tomorrow?” Hyunjin asked Jisung, flopping on his bed next to him.

“I guess.” Jisung shrugged, texting Minho.

“I think you’ll have lots of fun!” Hyunjin encouraged him.

“I don’t know… it’s not as exciting as I thought.” Jisung expressed his lukewarm feelings. Hyunjin stayed quiet for a moment.

“Sorry.” Jisung winced at how he sounded insensitive.

Hyunjin was going to school but he did an online program. It was easier to manage with his seizures. He had decided it was the best decision but Jisung knew he was secretly a little disappointed he wouldn’t be on campus.

“Don’t apologize.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to be excited. I’ll be excited for you.”

“Thanks.” Jisung sighed.

He was a bit surprised when Hyunjin rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around Jisung’s middle and pressing his forehead to his shoulder. They cuddled sometimes but not often.

“The room will feel so empty without you.” Hyunjin pouted a little.

Jisung set his phone down and patted his arm.

“I’ll come home sometimes and it will be like having a sleepover.” Jisung said.

“Not the same.” Hyunjin scrunched his nose.

“I thought you said you were excited for me to go to college!” Jisung poked him lightly.

“Mm… half and half.” Hyunjin giggled.

“I wish I could see Minho more. Our school schedules don’t line up at all.” Jisung lamented.

“I’m sorry. You miss him a lot, don’t you?” Hyunjin tilted his head up to look at him.

“Kinda.” Jisung shrugged slightly again.

“Don’t lie.” Hyunjin squeezed him a bit. “He’s the only one who you get so happy around.”

“Well that makes me feel depressed.” Jisung sighed.

“Don’t be.” Hyunjin replied. “You have something special.”

“Maybe one day soon we’ll see each other again.” Jisung shifted to be more comfortable.

“Mm…” Hyunjin hummed, closing his eyes.

“Let’s just sleep.” Jisung decided, reaching over to turn off the light. He supposed it was okay if Hyunjin slept with him tonight. It was cold anyway. He needed another body for warmth.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth.” Hyunjin whispered in the dark.

“Just don’t breathe in my face.” Jisung whispered back.

Jisung honestly felt anxious as they packed his bags in the car the next morning and headed off to college. He tapped his fingers on his thigh until Hyunjin reached over and made him stop.

Jisung didn’t bring all that much with him. He grabbed his backpack from the back of the car and set it on the sidewalk.

“Hey Jisung!” Hyunjin suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders, making him look straight at him. “Did you forget anything?”

“No…” Jisung frowned, not sure why he was so aggressive.

“Are you sure?” Hyunjin asked again.

“I’m pretty sure.” Jisung brushed him off. “Why are you being so weird?”

Hyunjin just smiled widely and shrugged.

“Looks like there is a surprise for you.” Changbin said to Jisung.

“What?” Jisung was so confused.

Changbin pointed behind him. He turned and looked around, only seeing a car parked a little way from them on the curb.

“I don’t know…” Jisung trailed off as he looked closer at the car.

A very familiar figure stepped out of the passenger side, turning to face Jisung.

Hyunjin laughed behind Jisung at how his mouth fell open in shock. He felt frozen still just staring.

“Aren’t you going to come say hi?” Minho called out to him.

Hearing his voice in person and seeing his half smile unfroze Jisung.

He ran to Minho, colliding with him in between and wrapping his arms around his neck. Minho squeezed him back tight enough for it to be hard to breathe and raised him on his tiptoes.

“What are you doing here?” Jisung gasped.

“I can’t even tell you how hard it has been to keep this a secret from you!” Minho laughed, resting his hands on his shoulders. “I’ve been back for a while!”

“A while?” Jisung couldn’t compute. “But…”

“I had to keep calling you on the phone to pretend I wasn’t here.” Minho beamed at him. “I wanted it to be a huge surprise.”

“Dummy!” Jisung hit him lightly in the chest. “I start school today! If you had told me sooner, we could have spent all that time together!”

“I start school today too.” Minho replied.

“Why in the world would you- oh…” Jisung’s eyes got wide.

“I’m going to school here.” Minho laughed at the look on his face.

“But…” Jisung was completely overwhelmed.

“I decided transferring here would be best to finish out my degree.” Minho explained. “The program here is good and it’s developing even more recently so… I promised I would come back, didn’t I?”

“I didn’t think it would be like this.” Jisung bit his lip, feeling close to tears all of a sudden.

“Oh no!” Minho hugged him close again, cradling his head gently. “You have to be happy!”

“I am happy!” Jisung shook away the tears. “I’m so unbelievably happy!

“I got the information from your dad. We’re on the same floor!” Minho told him. “I was a late transfer so I didn’t get to choose my roommate but maybe we can be together next semester.”

“This is- I can’t even believe this!” Jisung’s mood was at a hundred.

Jisung’s roommate was nowhere to be seen for the moment as they moved him into his dorm room, but that was okay. He helped Minho get set up as well. His roommate seemed nice.

It was a little strange when the family finally said goodbye to Jisung and he was really on his own. He took a deep breath and then smiled. At least Minho was there with him.

The first day they had a big event where all the new students could connect. Jisung followed Minho around the campus, trying to take in many things at once.

Later in the evening, the students gathered around and made two large circles in one of the auditorium rooms. Minho had run back to his room to get something so Jisung was feeling nervous. He wasn’t always the best with new things.

Jisung was so nervous sitting in the circle. He searched for Minho but didn’t see him. Everyone else was already talking and getting to know each other but Jisung didn’t know where to start. He kind of wanted to hide away but it was only the first day.

Someone stood in the middle of the circle and got everyone’s attention. They were going to go around the circle and tell a little about themselves. They each got two pieces of paper. On one side they would write their names and a star, indicating they were the owner of the paper.

On the other side they would write the name of someone else in the circle that they would like to get to know after their introductions. It was a pretty smart idea but it made Jisung nervous that he had to choose someone.

“Hey, what did I miss?” Minho suddenly sat down beside him.

Jisung let out a relieved breath and explained what was going on.

“Everyone should share their name, one hobby, their major, and an odd or interesting fact about themselves.” The leader continued. “And for fun, tell us if you are single or not.”

Jisung frowned.

“Why does it matter if we are single or not?” Jisung whispered to Minho.

“It’s just for fun.” Minho shrugged. “And if you have an interest in anyone in the circle. It’s good to know in the beginning, right?”

Jisung still thought it was awfully strange. No one in the circle caught his eye. They were all strangers.

Jisung racked his brain trying to come up with a response to the questions before it became his turn. He could feel his ears burning when he had to speak.

“Um, I’m Jisung.” he said awkwardly. “My major is music and my hobby is playing the guitar. Um… I guess an interesting fact is… I’m adopted? And, I’m… single.”

Jisung wanted to cover his face he was so mortified having to share about himself in front of everyone. Luckily Minho started sharing right after him so the attention was shifted.

He honestly didn’t pay much attention to other people so he was in trouble when they asked everyone to write down someone they wanted to connect with. He put down Minho’s name and a random name he remembered.

“You can’t write me!” Minho laughed, peeking over at his paper.

“Yes I can.” Jisung shielded his papers and frowned at him.

“Pick someone new!” Minho urged him.

Jisung didn’t want to. He handed in his papers with Minho’s name and one other. Two leaders sorted the papers while they did another small game. They handed the papers back out in a few minutes.

The goal was for them to receive all the papers with their name on it and connect with a few of the people who had voted for you. Jisung was surprised to be given four papers. Minho on the other hand got a ton.

They broke the circle and started mingling around, meeting people. Jisung stuck by Minho’s side as people approached him and soon there was a little group of people there. Jisung shyly greeted a few people but everyone was more talkative than him.

He ended up not having to talk much by just hanging out with Minho.

In all honesty, he could tell Minho was a little bothered about him hanging around him the whole time. Not because he didn’t want Jisung around. He just wanted Jisung to branch out. But it was so hard for Jisung.

He was honestly glad when the night was over. When he got back to his room, is roommate was still out doing the later in the evening activities. Jisung lay in bed and felt a little lonely, even if Minho was just down the hall. He kept hearing people laughing and talking through the walls and it made him feel a little alone.

The next morning he woke up feeling a little better. He had his first classes for the semester and he actually felt ready for them.

When he sat up and swung his legs out of bed, he froze. He had forgotten he still hadn’t met his roommate yet. He was laying on his side, facing the wall so Jisung wasn’t able to see his face. Jisung tried to be quiet as he moved around getting ready.

He met up with Minho in the hall.

“You dressed up.” Minho looked him up and down.

“N-No I didn’t…” Jisung looked down at himself. It was just black jeans and a nice sweater tucked in at the front.

“Hmm.” Minho shrugged. He was in jeans and a hoodie but somehow Jisung felt overdressed next to him.

“Should I go change?” Jisung fiddled with his sleeve nervously.

“No, you look good.” Minho shook his head. “I guess you just have more motivation than me for classes.”

“It’s the first day.” Jisung said as they walked together down the stairs.

“It’s the first day of my fourth semester.” Minho reminded him. “But I’m glad you’re excited.”

“I’m not excited.” Jisung grumbled.

Maybe he was a tiny bit excited. He was feeling ready for his first class, sitting closer to the front of the large classroom and had his pens and paper out.

He kind of expected the teachers to go over the syllabus and call it a day. Instead, they zoomed through the class requirements and headed straight into the first lesson. Jisung was left scrambling to write down everything he didn’t know. Which was… everything.

He briefly wondered it if he in the wrong class, but he was on the roster. Everyone stared at the teacher blankly, hardly anyone writing notes while Jisung scribbled so fast his hand hurt. He almost didn’t process the class was over until the students started packing up.

He hoped it was just a hard teacher but he felt just as lost in his second class. He met Minho in the cafeteria for lunch with his backpack feeling heavier and his feet dragging.

“Hey.” Minho greeted him casually. “I’m starving, let’s go.”

Jisung followed him a bit dejectedly into line.

“I’ll swipe your card for you.” Minho held his hand out to Jisung.

“My what?” he asked.

“Your meal card.” Minho laughed.

“I… don’t have one.” Jisung frowned.

“Did you pick it up from student services?” Minho let his hand fall.

“I didn’t know I had to have a card… I thought I could use my student ID.” Jisung said sheepishly.

“Well you can’t eat without it.” Minho frowned.

Jisung had to bite back a groan. It was the last thing he needed at the moment.

“Why don’t you wait outside and I’ll just bring something out for you.” Minho offered, steeping forward to swipe his card.

“Okay…” Jisung stepped out of line and headed outside. He sat at one of the benches in the courtyard. At least it was something that could be fixed easily.

Minutes stretched into what felt like an eternity and Jisung started to get impatient. He checked his phone and it had already been almost twenty minutes. Minho hadn’t messaged either. He couldn’t have forgotten, could he?

Finally, Minho came out after another fifteen minutes.

“What took so long?” Jisung asked, a bit frustrated.

“Sorry.” Minho replied. “They don’t let you bring food out so I had to eat inside and then I saw one of my new friends and got a bit distracted talking.”

“So you didn’t get me anything…” Jisung looked at his empty hands.

“Of course I did!” Minho sat next to him and unzipped his backpack. “I just had to sneak it out.”

Jisung accepted the half of a sandwich wrapped in plastic wrap and an apple.

“I couldn’t get any of the hot food but hopefully this will be good. You should get your card before dinner.” Minho handed him a napkin as well.

“Thanks.” Jisung carefully unwrapped his sandwich and took a bite. He looked around at the people milling around the campus and then at Minho.

“What?” he asked, noticing him staring.

“Nothing.” Minho smiled widely. “I just think it’s kind of cute.”

“What?” Jisung asked again but frowned.

“How you dressed, how excited you are, even how you are a little unprepared.” Minho laughed. “I like how… simple you are.”

“Are you calling me simple?” Jisung feigned offense.

“Oh please.” Minho rolled his eyes. “Lowkey was a compliment.”

Jisung didn’t respond. He knew Minho thought his inexperience was endearing but it was a bother to him.

When he finished his final class for the day, he was so exhausted he didn’t even message Minho to ask where he was. He went straight to his room. Maybe to nap. But when he opened the door he froze.

“Oh! He’s finally here!”

Two boys were already in his room. One was sitting in his desk chair. Jisung wasn’t sure who to address. Surely one was his roommate but he didn’t know which one.

“I’m Soomin.” The boy sitting at the other desk raised his hand.

Jisung bowed to him respectfully. He was his roommate. He was surprised. Soomin looked older than him and was definitely handsome. He exuded a friendly, extroverted vibe.

“Did you have classes all day?” he asked.

Jisung nodded.

“Wow, this already seems like trouble.” Soomin laughed and his friend joined him. “You’ll have to study at the library or study rooms.”

Jisung was confused, frowning a little bit.

“We like to have a good time in college.” Soomin fist bumped his friend.

He probably just didn’t want Jisung to complain if they were in the room while he was trying to study. That wasn’t the most considerate but Jisung understood. That’s why the library existed.

“So…” Soomin waited for him to say something.

“Oh- yes. It’s nice to meet you. And that’s fine- I mean I don’t mind.” Jisung stumbled over his words a bit awkwardly.

He wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t exactly nap with them talking and he couldn’t study with since Soomin’s friend was sitting at his desk and he definitely wasn’t going to ask him to move.

He pretended to rummage around his closet for a moment and then left the room. He texted Minho, asking if he could study in his room but got no response. He was probably in class.

He decided he would just go to his room anyways. He wanted peace and quiet. The library was so loud since it was the first day. He knocked on Minho’s door before poking his head in cautiously. The room was empty.

Jisung gingerly set his thing on Minho’s desk and got to studying. He had assignments due by the end of the week already. After a while he felt so tired, he looked at Minho’s bed longingly. Surely, he wouldn’t mind.

He closed his books and slid under the covers. He was so tired he fell asleep within minutes.

He was woken up to someone tapping his shoulder. He blinked up tiredly to see Minho looking down at him.

“What time is it?” Jisung mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“Way past dinner time.” Minho replied. “I’m assuming you didn’t eat.”

“No.” Jisung sighed. “I was so tired but my room was full.”

“That’s okay. I don’t mind you crashing here.” Minho smiled. “But preferably don’t sleep in this bed.”

“Why?” Jisung lifted his head.

“This is my roommate’s bed.” Minho said with an amused smile.

Jisung sat up with a gasp, hastily scrambling out of the bed.

“I thought this was yours!” he cried.

“Nah, we switched because he didn’t like being next to the air conditioning.” Minho laughed. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell him.”

“Thank goodness you came in before he did!” Jisung felt embarrassed just thinking about it.

“Good thing.” Minho stretched. “You should eat dinner.”

“Isn’t the cafeteria already closed?” Jisung checked the time.

“Yeah but there are places nearby.” Minho replied. “As long as we’re back by curfew.”

“You’ll come with me?” Jisung asked.

“Of course!” Minho threw his arm over his shoulders. “I can’t let you starve!”

Jisung smiled and grabbed his shoes to go get something to eat.

As they walked across campus Jisung rubbed his hands together. He was a little cold.

Minho noticed and grabbed his hand. Jisung was surprised when he slipped it into the front pocket of his hoodie. It was warm with Minho’s hands resting inside casually. Jisung blinked in surprise for a moment and then walked comfortably beside him.

“Thanks for helping me today.” he said.

“No problem.” Minho replied.

“Hopefully tomorrow will be better.” Jisung let out a small breath.

“It will be.” Minho squeezed his hand. “You’ll get the hang of it.”

Jisung hoped so. But hoping only did so much.

The next day was so much worse. He couldn’t find an open spot in the library and accidentally took someone else’s spot, to which they not so kindly demanded he give up. He ended up studying in his room. Luckily Soomin wasn’t there. He did get his meal card but the line was so long for lunch that he had to sprint for his class. He got called out for being late which was absolutely mortifying.

At the end of the day he just wanted to cry but he forced himself to act fine when Minho asked how his day was.

The rest of the week was chaos. His classes were all so hard, he had to work doubly as hard as usual and it was only the first week. He already had homework. By Friday he wanted to throw his books out the window.

On Saturday he got to go home if he wanted to. He definitely wanted to. Changbin was a little surprised when he called and said he would be coming home but he didn’t mind.

Jisung took the bus home. He felt a little better the further he got from school. When he got home, he dropped his bags by the door and went searching for someone.

“Hey! You’re here early-.” Changbin gasped in surprise when Jisung ran and tackled him in a hug. “Aw, missed me that much?”

Jisung squeezed him tightly, burying his face in his chest.

Changbin rubbed his back before suspecting something might be wrong.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“No.”

Changbin drew back from Jisung so he could look at his face.

“College is so hard!” Jisung cried. “I can’t seem to do anything right! Everything is so complicated and… weird! I hate it!”

Changbin had the nerve to laugh. Jisung tensed up immediately, offended by his response.

“Jisung, this is normal! There’s nothing wrong with you or even college. The beginning is just hard.” Changbin said.

“Well that doesn’t help me!” Jisung shot back. “I’m going to be like this forever!”

“You won’t be like this forever.” Changbin shook his head and patted his shoulder. “Trust me. You’ll be just fine.”

“I’m just so tired!” Jisung dramatically slumped back against Changbin.

Changbin leaned against the counter to support both of their weights.

“Do you want to take a nap?” Changbin asked.

“I want to see my baby fox first.” Jisung sighed and stood straight again. “I need an energy boost.”

“He’s outside actually.” Changbin gestured over his shoulder. “With Daisy.”

Jisung headed out to see him. Daisy greeted him first, jumping all over him in excitement.

“Jisung!” Jeongin ran to him next, hugging him tightly.

“Hi bud!” Jisung sat down on the back steps and pulled Jeongin into a hug. He had only been away for a week but he missed Jeongin so much.

When he tried to squirm away, Jisung covered his face with kisses.

“No!” Jeongin got away and shook his finger at Jisung in mock seriousness.

“Aw come on!” Jisung pouted. “I need to make up for all the times I missed!”

“Yucky.” Jeongin wiped his face. “I’ll do kisses instead.”

“Okay.” Jisung agreed.

Jeongin showed him his new overalls, pulling out all the random items from his front pockets that he had shoved in there.

“This is my glass frog.” Jeongin handed him a little figurine. “And my marbles… and some seeds.”

“These are beans.” Jisung inspected the little brown items.

“Hyunjin gave them to me.” Jeongin frowned. “They are seeds! If you plant them, they become big trees! But in a long time.”

Jisung smiled at his imagination and didn’t correct him.

“I want to take you in my pocket back to college.” Jisung rested his chin on his hand.

“I’m too big.” Jeongin replied. He crouched down and sorted his items.

“No, you’re tiny.” Jisung corrected.

Jeongin lifted his head and glared at him before returning to what he was doing.

Jisung watched him play contentedly. It was nice being back home. Everything was as it should be.

He took a nap for a little bit and when he woke up it was already almost dinner time. When he came into the living room, he was surprised to see the contents of his backpack dumped on the floor. Jeongin was putting one foot in his empty bag when he caught him.

“What are you doing?” Jisung put his hands on his hips.

“I won’t fit in your pocket but I can fit in your backpack.” Jeongin replied simply.

He was still a little too big for the bag but the effort was adorable. He was a little small for a six-year-old but he would be growing much faster soon. It was impressive that he half managed to fit, but his head stuck out of course.

He beamed up at Jisung with a playful smile and sparkling eyes.

“I want to go to school!” he said.

“You’re cute.” Jisung lifted him up and held him against his hip.

They went to the kitchen where Misun was making dinner.

“Do you want to have a sleepover with me in my room tonight?” Jisung asked.

“Can I mommy?” Jeongin looked at Misun for approval.

“That’s fine.” she nodded.

Jeongin giggled and hugged Jisung.

“Can you stay here and not go back?” Jeongin asked.

“I wish I could.” Jisung smiled and cuddled him closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so much fun to write! A lot of you guessed that Jisung would be angry at Minho! Which honestly makes sense but this happened to me with one of my best friends and the happiness won out over the surprise honestly! Hyunjin didn’t make much of an appearance but that’s because I will have his POV in this story! As well as Seungmin’s for the first time! Hopefully they are what you all would be interested in reading! As always, I am super open to feedback and hope to incorporate more of what you want in the story! Drop some thought if you have the time!


	3. Minho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just wanted to say... thank you so much for your comments!! They inspire me so much! I recognize many of your usernames and am happy to see new ones! I hope you all really love this chapter! I worked super hard on it! More notes at the end!
> 
> TW: Negative body image, Minor bullying, Family conflict

Minho considered himself a fairly confident person. He generally cared about what he thought about himself more than he worried about others. He kind of took anything thrown at him in stride.

It’s part of what made him choose his major. He knew part of working with children was the emotional aspect. It was important to be stable and confident to transfer that energy over to the child. Minho honestly enjoyed his work and study and thought it suited him well.

Jisung on the other hand had never seemed so lost. Minho was surprised at how much he was struggling. To him, Jisung had always been energetic, assertive and playful. It was like college had sucked all of that right out of him.

Minho stole a sideways glance at Jisung. They were sitting in the library side by side studying. Jisung had his chin resting in his hand as he read. He looked tired, his eyes and smile turned sad.

Minho closed his book and then reached over and closed Jisung’s.

“What…” Jisung sat up straighter.

“We’re done studying for now.” Minho whispered as he shoved his things in his backpack. “Let’s go.”

“But I’m not done.” Jisung spoke too loudly and a few people glared at them. He shrunk in his seat.

“C’mon.” Minho nodded his head towards the exit.

Jisung followed him a bit reluctantly.

When they were outside, Minho stretched his arms over his head with a smile.

“What are you so happy about?” Jisung grumbled. “The sun isn’t even out.”

Minho glanced at the sky. It was overcast, but he wouldn’t let that dampen his mood.

“Someone is super grumpy today.” Minho poked his side. “I can’t let that happen.”

“I’m not grumpy.” Jisung argued back. “I just have a lot on my mind. And I’m tired. I _was_ trying to study but someone interrupted me.”

“We need to do something relaxing.” Minho brushed aside his statement. “You need a break.”

“Minho- please.” Jisung groaned and his shoulders slumped. “I really am not in the mood!”

“Exactly. I have to knock that bad mood out of you.” Minho refused to give up.

“Let’s go get bubble tea.” Minho decided.

He didn’t give Jisung much of a choice, dragging him along after him.

He never thought hanging out with Jisung was a burden. He was happy to look out for him. Jisung went home on the weekend of the first week. Minho went home on the second weekend.

“I’m home!” he called into the house when he walked in the door.

“Minho’s home!”

He laughed happily at Felix’s excited squeal.

A moment later, Felix came tearing around the corner and barreled into Minho for a hug.

“Are you that excited to see me?” Minho gave him a hug.

“Yes.” Felix nodded sincerely.

“I brought you a present.” Minho reached into his pocket. “Close your eyes.”

Felix did as he was told and held his hands out expectantly. Minho placed his gift in his hand. It was a plush keychain he had picked up at the giftshop. It was a little black cat.

“Okay open.” Minho said.

“Woah!” Felix responded dramatically. “It’s so cute! I can put him on my dresser!”

“Yeah!” Minho rumpled his hair. “Are mommy or daddy home yet?”

“Mommy is upstairs but her door is closed.” Felix replied.

“I see…” Minho nodded. “I’ll tell you what. Play with yourself for twenty minutes and then I will play a game with you. Okay?”

“Deal!” Felix gave him a thumbs up.

Minho headed upstairs to Ara and Chan’s room. He knocked on the door softly before opening it slowly. Ara was sitting on the bed.

“Hi…” Minho slipped in and closed the door after him. “I just got home. Is everything okay?”

Ara bit her lip and Minho wasn’t sure what to do when he noticed the tears on her face.

“What’s wrong?” he stepped closer.

“I just don’t know what to do.” Ara raised her hands and let them drop. “T-This is so sudden.”

Minho sat next to her; concern written on his face.

“Seungmin’s mom wants to close the adoption.” she sniffled.

“What?” Minho frowned. It didn’t make sense.

“It’s so sudden. I mean- she has been so distant lately but we didn’t really mind.” Ara wiped at her tears. “But this is so drastic. Do you know how much this will hurt Seungmin?”

Minho felt a heavy weight settle in his chest. He put his arm around Ara and she leaned into him.

“Where’s dad?” Minho asked.

“He should be home soon.” Ara replied. “He’s picking up dinner for all of us.”

She sat up and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for telling you this when it’s supposed to be our day together.” she said. “I will hold off on telling Chan until tomorrow.”

“It’s fine.” Minho shook his head. “I’m glad I know.”

“I don’t know how to tell Seungmin.” she looked down at her lap.

“I’m sure you and dad will do what’s best.” he said in comfort.

“Thanks.” Ara squeezed his hand.

They heard the sound of Felix laughing downstairs and Chan’s voice teasing him.

“Let’s enjoy tonight!” Ara stood up. “I’m too happy with you here!”

Minho enjoyed spending time with his family. It was relaxing and he had missed them a lot. When he came back on campus, he felt recharged.

On Monday, one of his teachers set up the projects they would be doing for the semester. Since it was one of his core major related classes, he had to do an internship along with it. He had already picked the place.

The professor explained that he had split them off into pairs and they would be working in their pairs for the entire semester.

Minho wasn’t paying much attention when he called out the pairs but he was startled when his partner sat down next to him. He stared for a moment before darting his gaze away.

His partner was so beautiful.

He almost cringed at his own evaluation but it was true. She was so beautiful. Her hair was long and black, falling in soft waves down past her shoulders. Her eyes were large and curved up uniquely.

Minho cursed his face for heating up in reaction.

“Hi. I’m Minji.” she introduced herself.

“Minho.” he bowed back to her.

She sat still, a little shy probably.

“So I guess we will be doing a lot of projects together over the semester.” Minho tried to make polite conversation.

“Yes.” she nodded. “I believe we were paired together because we are interning at the same place.”

“Makes sense.” Minho nodded.

They fell into silence but Minho stole another glance at her. She was so beautiful. He was almost shocked at himself. He never got this shy fluttery feeling in his stomach.

“Our first project is coming up.”

Minho snapped out of his daze as she showed him the syllabus.

“I like to work ahead. If you want, we could find a day to work on it each week until it’s complete.” she offered.

“That sounds great.” Minho tried not to let his excitement run away from him.

Minji smiled shyly to herself again and tucked the syllabus away.

Minho couldn’t shake the weird buzzing feeling in his chest the rest of the day. He almost felt like it was a secret he was keeping inside. When he sat with Jisung in the cafeteria he couldn’t focus.

“Why are you so happy?” Jisung asked him suspiciously.

“I’m not.” Minho blurted out too fast.

“You’re smiling to yourself.” Jisung pointed out.

“It was an accident.” Minho shrugged. It was a lame excuse but Jisung let it slide.

He drew attention away from himself by pointing at Jisung’s plate.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

“All the food here is too fattening.” Jisung sighed. “And it’s the worst to eat right before a test.”

“Tastes great to me.” Minho frowned.

Jisung had been so busy that Minho had to remind him when to eat.

“You’ll do great on your test.” Minho said as he walked Jisung to class. “You studied hard and you’ll do great.”

“Thanks.” Jisung murmured.

Minho stopped him and handed him water and a granola bar.

“You have to eat right after your test. Text me when you’re out and don’t stress so much!” Minho pressed his finger against Jisung’s frown line between his eyes.

“You’re such a mom.” Jisung grumbled.

“Yep, that’s kind of my job.” Minho smiled and tugged on his sweater sleeve. He almost exclusively wore sweaters and hoodies now. Maybe Minho was a bad influence.

“See ya later.” Jisung waved as he headed into class.

“Bye!” Minho waved back before heading to the library.

It was his first meeting with Minji today and he had to admit he was nervous. He may also have dressed in some of his nicest clothes as well.

He felt the familiar jittery feeling rise up in his chest as they found a study room together and set up their things.

“How are you?” he asked once they were settled.

“I’m good. How are you?” she asked back politely.

“Great.” Minho smiled.

“I was actually hoping I could get to know you a little better today.” Minji said. “Since we’ll be partners and everything…”

“Yeah. Same here.” Minho cringed at himself.

“So um… why did you choose this major?” she asked.

“Mostly because of my younger brothers.” Minho explained. “Both of my siblings, including myself are adopted so I guess you could say we spent a lot of time at therapy and seeing psychologists.”

Minji nodded.

“I wanted to be able to help kids that really needed it.” Minho smiled. “It’s kind of a simple reason but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

“No! It’s very admirable.” Minji said quickly. “I guess I have a similar reasoning.”

Minho nodded for her to continue.

“I worked as a teacher in high school and always felt some kids were slipping through the cracks. I wanted to be able to help the ones who need it most.” she smiled shyly.

Minho felt like his heart was squeezing a little. She was so kind.

“But anyways… thanks for telling me about yourself.” she tucked her hair behind her ear and Minho looked away.

“Should we get started?” Minho opened his laptop.

Working with Minji was so nice. She was incredibly smart Minho realized quickly. She was also incredibly organized and could lay everything out nicely. She was kind of amazing. Pretty and smart and nice. Minho couldn’t believe she was real.

Their second meeting, she brought cookies for the two of them.

“My little brother would love you.” Minho accidentally let slip out. “I mean, he loves to bake.”

“That’s so cute!” Minji giggled. “Do you have a hobby?”

“I’m not sure?” Minho laughed. “I used to play soccer but now I’m so busy with school it’s kind of my whole life.”

“What do you do to relax?” she asked. “Maybe that’s easier to pinpoint.”

“I mostly hang out with my best friend.” Minho rubbed the back of his neck. “He goes here too.”

“That’s cool!” she said. “It’s always fun to go to college with someone you know.”

“Do you have a best friend here at college?” Minho asked in return.

“No, but my boyfriend is here.”

Minho swore a little piece of his heart broke. He tried to keep smiling but it felt strained.

Of course she had a boyfriend. How could someone so nice and smart and sweet not have everyone after her. It still hurt to hear it. Minho hadn’t really realized about how much he thought about her until then.

He was in a bad mood the rest of the weekend over it, even being a little snappy at Jisung. He felt bad so he came over to Jisung’s room on Saturday to study with him.

“Oh! I didn’t know you were coming!” Jisung opened the door in his pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

“Should I leave?” Minho teased.

“No, no come in!” Jisung quickly pulled him in. “Let me just… uh I’ll change my shirt.”

Minho shrugged, dropping his books and pens on the floor.

“Are you out of your bad mood?” Jisung asked as he rummaged in his closet.

“Hey! I was just stressed!” Minho huffed.

“Sure…” Jisung teased back.

Minho frowned when he pulled out another sweater from his closet. Minho didn’t know why he needed to change.

“Okay, just um… turn around.” Jisung said, his face heating up.

Minho was a little surprised. Jisung usually wasn’t so private about his body. He frowned a little but did as he asked.

When he turned back around Jisung was in the oversized sweater. He had been wearing them a lot recently.

They sat on the floor to do homework. Sometimes it just got tiring to sit at a desk. Jisung lay on his back, reading a book while Minho sat cross-legged next to him. It was nice to study in peace together. The library occasionally was too noisy and distracting.

Minho worked on his homework for a bit and then switched over to reading. He smiled thinking of how Jisung and him used to read together in his room when they were younger. He scooted around so he could rest his head on Jisung’s stomach.

Jisung was usually the one laying on him but he did let Minho lay on him too. Today, Jisung shifted uncomfortably.

“Can you please get off?” he asked.

“Why?” Minho turned his head to look at him.

“I just don’t want you to put your head there.” Jisung replied.

Minho sat up and laughed.

“What’s wrong with it? I’ve done it before.” he pointed out.

“I just don’t want you…” Jisung looked away.

Minho rolled his eyes, a little bothered by the way Jisung was acting.

“Why are you being so weird lately?” he asked.

“I’m not acting weird.” Jisung replied but his eyes looked nervous.

“Yes you are.” Minho insisted. “Since when have you been so uncomfortable around me? Did I do something?”

“No! It’s not you!” Jisung shook his head quickly. “It’s me.”

Minho raised his eyebrow, trying to coax him into explaining.

“I just… don’t…” Jisung fiddled with the edge of his sweatshirt, tugging it down shyly. “It’s embarrassing! Please don’t make me say it!”

“Then do I have to guess?” Minho said a bit drily.

“It’s just that… I don’t really like my body right now.” Jisung replied.

Minho frowned and looked him up and down which made Jisung’s ears heat up.

“What’s wrong with it?” Minho asked.

“I- I got fat.” Jisung said as if it was the most mortifying thing in the world.

Minho almost wanted to laugh but he caught it before it could bubble out. Jisung still caught his smirk and looked devastatingly embarrassed.

“Jisung you’re not fat!” Minho raised his voice a little in surprise.

“Yes I am. And please- don’t make a big deal over it.” Jisung covered his face with his hands.

“I will make a big deal over it.” Minho pulled his hand away from his face. “You’re a healthy weight! Even if you gained twenty pounds, you would still be a healthy weight!”

“It’s just not attractive.” Jisung murmured and then pulled his hand out of Minho’s grasp to cover his face again.

“Who told you that?” Minho huffed in frustration.

When Jisung didn’t respond Minho guessed that it was a self-evaluation.

“Everyone gains a freshman fifteen.” Minho told him. “I definitely gained more than that. Your body just needs more fuel!”

“I want it to go away.” Jisung said softly.

“Why?” Minho demanded. “I like it.”

“Why would you like it?” Jisung showed his face and pouted at Minho. “My face is so chubby and my tummy isn’t flat anymore.”

“What standard are you looking at?” Minho laughed. “Body type isn’t that important to me. So what if you’re chubbier in some places?”

“It just feels gross.” Jisung whispered.

Minho softened a little. He understood body image was a sensitive subject and more important to some people than others.

“I like you the way you are. Any way you are.” Minho told Jisung. “I know others do too. We’re always more critical of ourselves than others.”

“Are you sure?” Jisung looked skeptical. “You’re not just saying that?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” Minho scrunched his nose up at him.

Jisung looked away, still a little shy. Minho decided it was probably best to let the conversation fade out. Normalizing talking about these things was important. It should be clear that Jisung can bring it up whenever he needed and it wasn’t awkward afterwards.

Minho lay on the floor again and hesitated before resting his head on Jisung’s tummy again. He still needed to respect his boundaries.

“Is this okay?” he asked, just in case.

“Yes.” Jisung said quietly.

“I like it.” Minho said again. “I like when you’re soft, and you know I think your cheeks are cute. Plus, you’re more than just your body.”

“I guess.” Jisung murmured.

Minho didn’t like that Jisung was experiencing negative self-image. Everyone did at some point, but Jisung didn’t need another thing to worry about. He had always been more sensitive about how others perceived him as well.

On Friday night Minho noticed that they had cheesecake for dinner. He texted Jisung about it on the way to his evening study session. To his shock, Jisung said he was too busy to come get some.

Minho suspected he didn’t want to eat foods that were “fattening” as he had mentioned before. Minho thought it was ridiculous but he would never say that to Jisung. He wanted Jisung to be happy and confident.

So he picked up a piece of cheesecake for the younger boy anyways. It was tricky to sneak it out of cafeteria but he succeeded.

“I have a surprise for you.” Minho said when Jisung let him into his room.

He held up the slice of cheesecake. He didn’t miss the way Jisung’s eyes lit up.

“You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want but I thought I would get you one just in case you were too busy studying to come down and get it.” Minho shrugged and set it on his desk.

“Thanks.” Jisung smiled.

Minho sat on Jisung’s bed since Soomin was at the other desk.

“How was your day?” Minho asked.

“It was okay.” Jisung shrugged and took a bite of his dessert. “I think I did good on my test. I was only stuck on the essay question.”

“Essay questions are the worst.” Soomin interrupted, standing up and stretching. He lay on his own bed and pulled out his phone.

Minho didn’t really like Soomin. He thought he was kind of rude but he didn’t say anything about it. Sometimes he was tolerable.

“Hopefully my professor will give me half credit.” Jisung smiled, trying to stay positive.

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” Minho encouraged him.

Jisung had been studying really hard. He should be proud of his work.

“Jeez, how much can you fit in your mouth?” Soomin suddenly spoke up. His tone was far from kind. “Take a breath, will you?”

Jisung froze, his cheeks full of cheesecake and his eyes wide in surprise.

“Why do you care?” Minho replied to him angrily. “Let him eat how he wants.”

“Just makes him look fat.” Soomin laughed coldly and shook his head before looking down at his phone again.

“Hey.” Minho snapped. Soomin looked up in surprise. “Why don’t you shut up? No one wants to hear your opinion.”

“Woah.” Soomin held his hands up. “Calm down. No need to come for me like that.”

“I will if you’re being a jerk.” Minho held his ground.

“Whatever.” Soomin spat out and stood. “You act like it’s your job to protect Jisung or something. I’m out of here.”

He grabbed his jacket and glared at Minho once more before leaving the room.

Jisung flinched when the door slammed but Minho just let out a frustrated huff of breath.

“Since when was your roommate such a jerk?” Minho asked.

“I just do things that bother him.” Jisung shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

“That’s really not cool.” Minho shook his head. “Don’t listen to what he says.”

Jisung nodded but Minho noticed he took tiny bites of cheesecake. His gaze flickered up to meet Minho’s and he looked ashamed.

“Seriously Jisung.” Minho said were a solemn tone. “Don’t listen to him. He’s such an idiot and he’s mean.”

“Sorry.” Jisung murmured.

Minho was so frustrated he wanted to shout at Soomin some more or grab Jisung by his adorable cheeks and talk some sense into him.

“I really like this flavor.” Jisung commented, his face void of negative emotion.

Minho relaxed a little at that.

“I knew you liked blueberry.” Minho nodded.

Minho knew Jisung wanted to study more but he didn’t want Soomin to come back and bother him so he stayed in the room with him. He laid out his books and lay on his stomach on Jisung’s bed.

“Hey Min?” Jisung asked after some time had passed.

“Hmm.” Minho hummed.

“It’s a weird question but I was wondering if you had thought about dating.” Jisung swiveled his chair to face him.

“Why are you asking?” Minho asked curiously.

“I feel like literally everyone here is in a relationship.” Jisung replied. “It’s like couple central in the quad.”

“True.” Minho laughed. “But not everyone is in a relationship, or a good one.”

He thought for a moment.

“I kind of felt pressured my freshman year.” Minho remembered back. “But there wasn’t anyone who was right, ya know?”

“I know so many people who are dating and it seems kind of nice but also super confusing.” Jisung admitted. “Do you like… know about this kind of thing?”

Minho smiled. He remembered when Chan had talked to him about this years ago.

“The most important thing is finding someone who makes you a better person and vice versa. Someone who you can be better with together but okay on your own.” Minho listed off some things. “And it has to be someone your heart just wants to protect and take care of.”

Jisung thought for a long moment, resting his chin on his upraised knee.

“I don’t really have anyone like that…” he said.

“That’s okay.” Minho shrugged. “Everyone is at a different stage. There’s no age limit.”

“That’s true. My dad didn’t meet my mom until way later.” Jisung observed.

“You’ll get there.” Minho said. “Don’t worry about it.”

Jisung nodded and returned to his work but Minho couldn’t focus anymore. He couldn’t get Minji out of his mind for some reason.

The rest of the week passed in a bit of a blur until it was finally the weekend. Minho just wanted to sleep but a phone call shattered that dream.

“We told Seungmin.”

Minho sat up in his bed when Chan told him. He knew Chan and Ara had held off on telling him in the hopes that Seungmin’s mom would change her mind. He knew that Chan and Ara had tried to have her rethink but it wasn’t enough apparently.

“He’s taken it so hard.” Chan sighed over the phone. “I know it’s a lot to ask but I was wondering if you would come over. I think he would like to see you.”

“Of course.” Minho agreed immediately. “I’ll be over just after dinner.”

Minho strangely wanted to cry as he drove home. It just wasn’t fair for Seungmin’s mom to close the adoption. What would that communicate to Seungmin? That he was unwanted? That she was done with him?

It was so painful. Minho couldn’t imagine.

When he got home, he could tell the atmosphere was tense. Even Felix just sat on the couch with wide eyes.

“He’s outside.” Ara told him. “He’s been out there for hours.”

Minho nodded.

He went to the backyard. Chan was with Seungmin. He was sitting on the bench on the edge of the lawn. Chan crouched in front of him, talking to him softly. When he saw Minho he stood up and gave them privacy.

It made Minho overwhelmingly compassionate seeing Seungmin just sitting there. Minho went back in the house and returned with a blanket. He draped it over Seungmin’s shoulders when he sat down. It was too cold to be outside but he didn’t want to force Seungmin inside just yet.

They sat in silence for a little bit. Seungmin stared blankly out into the night. For once, Minho had no idea what to say. He had always been able to comfort Seungmin with a hug or a few gentle words. This was so different.

It was a hurt that couldn’t be fixed with a band aid.

“I’m sorry Minnie.”

It was all Minho could think to say.

Seungmin nodded once, barely a dip of his head.

Minho reached over and placed his hand over Seungmin’s cold one where it rested on his knee. Seungmin responded at that, turning his hand and lacing their fingers together.

After a while Seungmin lowered his head and let out a long breath.

“Do you want to go inside?” Minho asked hesitantly.

Seungmin nodded. He looked at Minho and managed a sad smile.

“I think I’m too big for you to carry me inside huh?” he said.

Minho knew the hidden message under the words. Seungmin missed when his problems could be solved by cuddles from Chan or teasing from Minho. He was growing older and things were just harder.

Minho pressed his hand to the side of Seungmin’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. Even if things were different and changing and scary, Minho would always be there for him. In whatever way he could.

“I love you Minnie.” Minho told him.

Seungmin leaned into his touch silently. Even though things were so hard and broken, they had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU GO!!! Please read these notes! I would love to share some additional thoughts! 
> 
> Firstly! Jisung had some negative thoughts about his body which can be triggering to many so I wanted to check in and make sure you are all okay! I hate the word fat because it is so negative and is completely unfair to apply to different body types. Everyone's BMI (Body Mass Index) is different. One person's healthy body weight can be vastly different from someone else's! Truly everyone has a beautiful body type since it's the one given to you! And can we normalize putting personality over body? Truly, your body is not nearly as important as your heart and soul! To all my lovely readers, take a look in the mirror today and tell yourself how beautiful you are! I don't even know what you look like but I know you are beautiful in your own individual, unique way! Embrace that! 
> 
> Secondly, if anyone was wondering about Seungmin's open adoption becoming closed, it is possible. It may seem a bit strange since I briefly went through some ways open adoption can be hard (not that it's bad) in my previous part of this story. But once the bond is formed and a system is in place, closing the adoption and cutting off contact is so harmful. In many ways, it communicates to the child that they are no longer wanted, even if that isn't the case. This happened to one of my kids so I wanted to put it in my story so more people can be aware of it. it can be a real issue with adoptions.
> 
> If you read all of this, thank you! You all are amazing! you encourage me when I'm feeling really down and writing is hard! Your comments are so treasured! have a wonderful day!


	4. Seungmin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! I'm lucky I wrote this a few days ago because I had a bad migraine today! I didn't get to edit this but hopefully there aren't many mistakes! Our first Seungmin centric chapter! So excited! Though this chapter is very emotional in the beginning, it's mostly soft. Remember that Seungmin is twelve years old! The most emotional confusing time as a kid! He actually handles things very well for his age! Also I added a lot of Felix since he doesn't have his own POV!
> 
> TW: Mild injury

Seungmin couldn’t focus. He couldn’t focus on anything. He struggled to pay attention in class and wasn’t able to apply himself to his homework. It felt awful.

When he thought about it, since it was all he could think about, he realized he wasn’t sad over what everyone expected. He would miss his mom, even if it was only a small bit. She had only been a small part of his life.

He missed the feeling of belonging even more. It wasn’t something he could communicate to anyone. Not even Chan and Ara.

He felt like he was used up. Like his mom had gotten tired of him. He was essentially rejected. And it hurt. A lot.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to cry, or scream, so he just stayed silent. Eerily silent until he wondered if his words were draining away as well. Chan and Ara noticed. They more than noticed.

Ara took his face in her hands one night after he had been staring at his homework blankly for ages. He couldn’t will his brain to stay in the moment.

“What are you doing up this late?” she whispered, looking so worried.

Seungmin glanced at the clock and realized it was past midnight. He. Didn’t even know it had gotten that late.

“I’m not done with my homework.” he murmured.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” she closed his book for him. “Let’s go to bed.”

Seungmin did as she said, going upstairs and getting ready for bed tiredly. When he moved to climb in bed he stopped. He looked over at where Felix was snuggled in his own blankets. His peaceful face was lit by the soft glow of the nightlight he insisted they kept on.

He hadn’t slept with Felix for so long he couldn’t remember the last time, but he wanted to tonight for some reason. He slipped into bed beside him and wrapped his arm around the smaller boy. Is comforted him somehow.

When he woke up in the morning Felix was gone but his kitten plushie was tucked into his arms. It was hard to get up but he managed it. It was hard to go to school but he also managed it.

It was the third day since Chan and Ara had told him the news. He thought he would be sadder when the news really sunk in, but instead he felt anger itching just below the surface.

How could his mom do this to him? Was it something he had done? Was he the problem?

When he got home from school he went straight to his room and slammed the door. He stood in the middle of the room. He was so angry and so many thoughts were swirling in his head that he needed to get it out.

“Can you play with me?” Felix came into the room without knocking.

Seungmin sat on his bed and put his head in his hands.

“I’m bored!” Felix whined. “Let’s play a game.”

Seungmin wished he could trade places with Felix. Not because he would wish his troubles upon anyone, just because he wanted to be so carefree.

“I’m too tired.” Seungmin replied.

“Please!” Felix tugged on his arm. “We haven’t played in so long!”

“I need to study.” Seungmin stood up and pulled his things out of his backpack.

Felix stayed in the room and played with himself but he ended up bothering Seungmin as much as he would of if they were playing together. Seungmin didn’t respond. He felt sick inside.

“Stop studying!” Felix complained, coming over and laying his body on Seungmin. “You’re so boring!”

“I’m not boring.” Seungmin replied, a little angrier than he had intended.

It felt like another hit to his pride. He didn’t want anyone to add any negative feelings on his already full conscious.

“You never play with me anymore!” Felix huffed and crossed his arms.

“Maybe I would if you didn’t bother me all the time.” Seungmin grumbled back.

Felix left the room and Seungmin felt a little bad. It wasn’t his fault Felix was so attached to him. He should learn to play with himself more.

Luckily, he didn’t come up to see Seungmin anymore. He was probably downstairs with Chan. He came down after a little while, needing a snack. His limbs felt heavy going down the stairs.

“Seungmin!” Felix called from the living room.

The anger was back again. Why did Felix have to be so demanding? Couldn’t he let Seungmin have any peace?

“Seungmin!” he called again when there was no reply.

Seungmin grabbed a snack and tried to head upstairs. Felix caught up to him first.

“Wait!” Felix blocked the stairs, holding his arms out to stop him.

“Move please.” Seungmin said.

“You have to go to the living room.” Felix pointed.

“I don’t have to do anything.” Seungmin tried to push past him but Felix grabbed his leg.

“No! You have to go!” Felix tried to push him in that direction.

“Will you stop?” Seungmin raised his voice. “Why can’t you see that I’m not in the mood!?”

“You’re just mad that your mommy left you!” Felix blurted out.

Seungmin stared at him in shock.

“But it’s okay…” Felix backtracked. “Because I did a craft for you. Come see it…”

He reached for Seungmin’s hand but he jerked away.

“I want to be alone.” he said in a strained voice.

“That’s not fair.” Felix frowned. “We’re trying to be nice and you’re being mean.”

“You don’t know what it’s like.” Seungmin snapped and brushed past him to go up the stairs.

“What’s going on boys?” Chan called to them from the living room.

“Nothing!” Seungmin called out while glaring at Felix who returned the same angry look.

He was halfway up the stairs when Felix finally came up with a response.

“You’re the meanest.” he said under his breath.

Seungmin froze but clenched his hands into fists. It was worse hearing how bad he was from someone else. He already felt bad enough inside.

“ _I’m_ trying to be nice.” Felix stepped up the stairs. “If you just come with me-.”

His hand closed on Seungmin’s wrist and he felt almost consumed by rage. He was so sick of everyone and everything.

“Go away!” he screamed and shoved Felix away from him as he turned.

He had forgotten they were on stairs and Felix’s back foot slipped from under him. He came crashing down on his stomach. His hands stretched out to catch his fall but the angle of the stairs meant his chin hit the wood first.

Every trace of anger was gone in an instant when Felix’s head snapped back at the force, tearing a cry from him.

“Oh my god…” Seungmin froze.

Felix burst into tears instantly, clutching the stairs to keep from falling farther.

“Seungmin!” Chan called from the living room after hearing him yell.

“I’m so sorry-.” Seungmin gasped, immediately crouching and trying to pull Felix up. He felt like a dead weight.

Chan appeared then and moved fast, taking Felix into his arms. He was sobbing at that point and Seungmin felt like he was going to be sick.

“Did you push him?” Chan’s voice was so stern and borderline angry that Seungmin froze.

“It’s okay sunshine.” Chan rubbed Felix’s back, turning away from Seungmin.

Seungmin gasped when Chan turned and he saw Felix’s face. Blood was soaking into the cream sweater where Felix’s chin was pressed against his shoulder.

Chan brought Felix into the bathroom and set him on the counter. Seungmin trailed behind them, not sure what to do but his heart was racing.

“You’re okay baby.” Chan soothed Felix.

It was only his chin that was bleeding. It had busted open on the stair. Seungmin realized he was lucky he hadn’t bitten his tongue.

“What should I do?” Seungmin asked.

Felix turned his face away, out of Chan’s grasp, when he realized Seungmin was there.

“Go out.” Chan said sternly. “Go to your room and don’t come out until I talk to you.”

Seungmin sat on his bed, his hands shaking. He couldn’t believe what had happened. It really wasn’t intentional.

After a long time, Chan came to see him. He rarely got angry but tonight Seungmin could tell he was. He closed the door behind him and came to stand in front of Seungmin.

“I don’t really know what to say.” Chan said tensely.

Seungmin bowed his head.

“Why did you do that?” Chan asked.

“He was saying mean things and bothering me and-.” Seungmin didn’t really mean to make excuses, they just slipped out. It just made Chan more frustrated.

“That doesn’t make it okay!” he said back.

“I know but it was an accident!” Seungmin cried out.

“You are lucky he didn’t need stitches!” Chan jabbed his finger at him. “You can _never_ push someone down the stairs! Do you know how badly he could be hurt?”

“I-I-.” Seungmin stammered, tears filling his eyes.

“What were you thinking?!” Chan raised his arms. “What could he have done that was bad enough to make you shove him down- the stairs!”

“I’m sorry!” Seungmin burst out. “I didn’t mean to!”

“You’re going to have to give me more than that!” Chan shook his head. “This is too much Seungmin. I know he annoys you a lot but this is not acceptable!”

“I didn’t mean to hurt him!” a tear slipped down his face. “It really was an accident!”

“Then help me understand how this happened.” Chan sat on the bed across from Seungmin. “Because I have one boy with a busted chin and one who I-I just… I can’t imagine why you would lose control like this Minnie…”

“I don’t know why!” Seungmin cried. “I was just so angry! Not at him! Just- at everything! I wasn’t even thinking!”

Chan softened slightly.

“Why are you angry?” he asked.

“I’m so tired of everything!” Seungmin’s voice raised in volume. “My life is horrible! I’m horrible too! Look at me! I even hurt Felix!”

Tears were streaming down his face freely now.

“Seungmin-.” Chan calmed down quickly. “I know what you’re going through is hard.”

“No you don’t!” Seungmin shouted back. “Even I don’t know what is happening to me!”

“Listen Minnie-.” Chan raised his hands to placate him.

“I already know I’m terrible!” Seungmin cut him off. “Just stop saying you understand!”

“Alright. I just want to-.”

Seungmin didn’t want to hear anymore. He reached up and yanked at his processors, practically tearing them from his ears and throwing them to the floor. Chan moved forward to stop him but Seungmin was faster.

He turned sideways and fell into his pillow, burying his face as he cried. He still just wanted to be alone.

Instead, Chan touched his shoulder. He tucked his arm under Seungmin’s waist and pulled him up into a hug. As soon as Chan surrounded him with familiar warmth, he finally cracked.

He wrapped his arms around Chan and sobbed into his shoulder. It was like the dam finally breaking. Chan let him let it all go.

When he finally wound down and cried himself out, he leaned against Chan tiredly. He felt strangely better. His chest felt lighter. It was nice to have Chan cuddle him but he strangely wanted him to talk to him too.

It was the opposite of a moment ago, but he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. His emotions were all confused.

He pushed away from Chan gently and retrieved his processors and coils from the ground. He returned to Chan’s safe embrace before putting them on.

“I can hear you.” he whispered, laying his head against Chan’s chest again.

“I don’t have to say anything sweetheart.” Chan said gently. “You’re right. I don’t understand. So I won’t try to make it better, I’ll just be here.”

“I really didn’t mean to hurt Felix.” Seungmin squeezed Chan tighter thinking about it.

“I know you didn’t mean it.” Chan rubbed his back. “It was an accident. I’m sorry for getting angry. It wasn’t right of me.”

“I just don’t understand.” Seungmin whispered. “Why doesn’t she want me anymore?”

“I don’t know either.” Chan sighed. “But I do know that it has nothing to do with you. It’s not your fault baby. You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m just not good enough.” Seungmin said tiredly.

“No, you’re more than enough.” Chan hugged him closer. “You’re so special Seungmin.”

“I’m sorry…” Seungmin whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Chan shook his head.

“I am sorry though.” Seungmin drew back to look at him. “It’s not because I don’t love you and mom.”

“Oh Minnie.” Chan smiled and pulled him back into a hug. “We know that! This is completely separate. We understand.”

“Okay.” Seungmin was glad. He didn’t want Chan or Ara to feel like they weren’t doing enough.

“I’m most sorry for Felix.” Seungmin was filled with concern again. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

“I know he will.” Chan assured him. “I explained to him a little. He didn’t say kind things to you either but I’ll work on it with him.”

Seungmin wasn’t angry with Felix for what he had said. He knew Felix didn’t understand the situation. He was still young and didn’t know better.

“It’s okay.” Seungmin wiped his face. “I should go talk to him.”

Chan gave him one last squeeze before letting him go downstairs to Felix.

Seungmin was honestly nervous. He had never done something so hurtful to either of his brothers. It wasn’t purposeful but he still felt bad.

Felix was sitting on the floor of the living room, working on something on the coffee table. He wasn’t crying anymore but he had a big band aid on his chin and his eyes were red. He didn’t notice Seungmin coming up. He just kept coloring on the paper in front of him.

“Felix…” Seungmin said hesitantly.

Felix lifted his head and blinked at Seungmin with wide eyes.

“I am so sorry…” Seungmin whispered.

“It’s okay.” Felix said immediately.

He stared at Seungmin for a moment later and then grabbed a piece of paper next to him and extended it to Seungmin.

Seungmin sat on the couch by him and took the paper folded in half. Felix scooted over so he was by his legs. He was a little shy but didn’t seem scared.

“I made you a card.” Felix said softly. “Because you’re sad.”

Seungmin carefully opened the homemade card to see Felix’s careful drawings and writing. He had even stuck on a few stickers.

“I’m making another one right now for when you’re angry.” Felix pointed to the table. “But it’s not done yet.”

Seungmin slid down to the floor and hugged Felix, careful not to bump his chin.

“I’m so sorry.” he said. “I really didn’t mean to hurt you. I wasn’t mad at you either.”

“It’s okay.” Felix patted his back with his small hand. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“You can never bother me.” Seungmin pulled back to look him in the eyes so he could see his sincerity. “I love you so much! You never bother me.”

Felix looked a little skeptical but nodded and smiled.

It was a testament to just how much Felix loved Seungmin that even after the older boy had lashed out, he still was worried about him. He still wanted to give Seungmin a gift. Even if his attention was sometimes bothersome, it was all in love.

Seungmin spent the rest of the evening doing arts and crafts with Felix until dinner. After they had eaten, they cuddled up to watch a movie together.

Felix eagerly snuggled against Seungmin’s side, resting the back of his head on his shoulder. Seungmin felt at peace feeling him breathing gently beside him. He was so relieved Felix hadn’t been hurt.

Ara got home a bit late. Chan had fallen asleep on the couch so she came to bring Felix to bed. She frowned when she saw his band aid.

“What happened?” she asked as she untucked him from the blankets.

“Seungmin pushed me down the stairs.” Felix said simply as he untangled his feet from the blanket.

Ara looked at Seungmin in surprise.

“It’s okay though now because he talked with daddy and won’t do it again.” Felix hugged Seungmin before slipping his hand into Ara’s to take him upstairs.

Ara looked thoroughly stunned but she didn’t comment on it as she took Felix up to bed.

Chan woke up at the noise and scooted over to lay next to Seungmin. He let Seungmin rest his head on his chest.

“I love you Minnie.” he said a bit sleepily while running his fingers through Seungmin’s hair.

“I love you too.” Seungmin replied back.

There really was no describing how much love bonded them together. Seungmin felt a little better just being with Chan and Ara and Felix. He was a part of their family. It was the family he most wanted to be a part of. The one he was lucky to have.

The next morning he woke Felix up. He tickled up and down his tummy and chest until he woke up.

“Time for school?” Felix mumbled while rubbing his eyes.

“Nope. It’s time to play!” Seungmin smiled down at him. It was the weekend

“Play?” Felix blinked up at him.

“I have all day. No homework.” Seungmin promised. “We can do whatever you want!”

Felix sat up and thought carefully.

“Maybe we can take turns.” he suggested. “I can pick and then you can pick.”

“Okay, sounds like a deal.” Seungmin gave him a thumbs up.

Catching up on school took a little bit of time, but Seungmin made sure he spent extra time loving on Felix before getting back to studying. He hadn’t really fallen that far behind.

Ara scolded him for working on homework so much again. Seungmin knew he should be easier on himself but it was just so hard. He felt that he had to excel in anything he could to make up for the ways he couldn’t.

On Friday night, Chan took things into his own hands and pulled Seungmin awake from his homework. He grabbed his keys and tossed a coat to Seungmin.

“Where are we going?” Seungmin asked once they were in the car.

“Somewhere special.’ Chan said a bit cryptically.

It was warm and cozy in the car. It was nice to drive at night.

They came to a place where they could park the car and look out over the lights of the neighborhoods below. It was peaceful and the view was so nice.

“I used to come here when I was a kid.” Chan told him. “I would drive up when I was tired and needed a break. I would just sit and listen to music for a while.”

“Are you tired tonight?” Seungmin asked.

“No. But I think you are.” Chan replied.

Seungmin looked down at his lap for a moment. It was true. He was tired.

“I’m glad you want to get good grades but I’m curious what your main reason to work so hard is.” Chan turned a bit in his seat to look at him.”

“I just… want to do well.” Seungmin shrugged.

“Do you ever feel like we pressure you?” Chan asked.

“No.” Seungmin shook his head quickly. “I guess… I just don’t want to fall behind anyone else. Since I’m already behind a little bit.”

“How are you behind?” Chan frowned.

“Being deaf…” Seungmin said softly. “Sometimes I feel like I’m missing things.”

“Are you implants working alright?” Chan asked.

“Yeah.” Seungmin affirmed. “It’s just other things. Even people talking to me differently.”

“Ah… I see.” Chan nodded. He thought before he spoke.

“Some people treat me normally, but others act so strange it makes me uncomfortable.” Seungmin suddenly felt the need to share more than he normally would. “It feels harder to ask for help when people act weird.”

“Yeah. That’s definitely a struggle.” Chan said sympathetically.

“Like if someone is talking super slow and clearly for me it feels strained. If I ever miss what they say then they try extra hard and it feels even more forced.” Seungmin explained. “I know I shouldn’t be that bothered… but it’s hard when people stare at me because of it.”

“People’s perceptions of you feel hard to work through?” Chan summed up what he was saying.

“Yeah. I guess I kind of want to show them that I can do everything just as well as anyone else. That I can do things on my own.” Seungmin nodded.

“That’s not necessarily bad.” Chan answered. “I just want you to feel confident in yourself. That’s the most important thing.”

“I’m trying.” Seungmin said a bit shyly. “It’s hard.”

“It’s okay!” Chan reached over to put his arm around Seungmin’s shoulders. “Thanks for telling me. Sometimes just talking about it makes it feel a little better right?”

“Definitely.” Seungmin smiled.

“I’m always here for you bud.” Chan stroked his thumb over Seungmin’s cheek affectionately.

“Thank you.” Seungmin stared back at him in the moonlight. “And Dad?”

“Mmhm.” Chan hummed.

“Thanks for adopting me.” Seungmin said.

He had wanted to say it ever since the problems with his mom. He was grateful and so blessed to get to have a forever family. He didn’t take that for granted.

“You don’t have to thank me.” Chan replied softly. “It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.”

Seungmin looked down at his hands again, shy at the affection he conveyed.

He was really lucky to have a dad who cared so much about him. He wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Another thing he wouldn’t trade for the world was his brothers. He was excited to get to spend the weekend sleeping over at Minho’s dorm. Felix was coming along too. He was definitely most excited, practically bouncing off of the walls in anticipation.

When they got to Minho’s dorm Felix suddenly became incredibly shy. It was Minho’s roommate that coaxed him out of his shell by doing a magic trick with a piece of candy. After that Felix adored him, even climbing onto his bed to look at what he was doing on his phone.

He had an evening class though so he had to leave. It was just Minho, Seungmin and Felix. Once they had set up their sleeping bags, they sat on the floor.

“Can Jisung come too?’ Felix asked Minho, quickly crawling onto his lap.

“Hey! Aren’t I company enough?’ Minho teased, pinching his cheek.

“Please!” Felix giggled.

“Maybe he’ll come after his class.” Minho checked his watch.

“Do you want to play a game?” Felix switched topics quickly.

“Let’s just take a nap.” Minho lay back on the floor dramatically.

‘You can’t nap!” Felix grabbed his pillow and his Minho in the chest.

Seungmin laughed and grabbed his own pillow to smack Felix with.

“Oh, it’s a battle now, is it?” Minho reached up and grabbed his pillow from his bed, unseated Felix from his lap.

Felix squealed when Minho hit him gently with the pillow. They started to hit each other playfully. Felix whipped his pillow around but his hits were light. Minho and Seungmin kept their hits light on purpose but it was still chaotic with everyone laughing and trying to avoid each other.

“Truce!” Minho was brought to the ground, his pillow snatched away. He shielded his face from Felix’s pillow.

As soon as Felix stopped, he grabbed his own pillow again and gave a surprise attack. Seungmin was laughing so hard he just lay on the ground watching them.

“Ouch!” Felix stopped and pressed his hand to his chin where there was still a band aid.

“Oh!” Minho stopped immediately and dropped his pillow to lift Felix’s chin gently. “Did I hurt you?”

“A little.” Felix rubbed at his chin.

“I guess this means you won.” Minho said. “Since I have broken the rules I’m disqualified.”

Seungmin sat up and smiled.

“Looks like you’re bleeding a little.” Minho looked at Felix’s chin. “We should get you a new band aid.”

He had just broken his scab but Minho wanted to get him a fresh band aid so they decided to take a trip down to the nurse.

“Does your teacher ever let you watch movies in class?” Felix asked Minho as they walked, his hand holding Seungmin’s.

“Mm… sometimes, but they are usually boring.” Minho grinned.

“Last week I watched one on dolphins!” Felix kicked a rock across the sidewalk and pulled his jacket up to cover his shoulder again.

“Sounds fun.” Minho smiled and held his hand out to Felix.

Felix wiggled out of Seungmin’s hand and slipped his hand into Minho’s instead.

“Hey!” Seungmin protested. “You just stole my sunshine!”

“I get sunshine rights during visiting times!” Minho teased back.

Felix skipped along happily, enjoying being the center of attention.

“Minho!” Seungmin raised his head to see a girl waving at him from ahead on the sidewalk.

She came closer and Seungmin noticed she was really pretty. Minho stopped and smiled when she drew closer.

“Hi Minji.” he greeted her.

“Hi!” she waved at all of them. “You have a little following today.”

“These are my little brothers.” Minho rumpled Felix’s hair with his free hand.

“It’s nice to meet you.” she bowed in greeting to both of them.

“They’re having a sleepover tonight.” Minho explained.

“That’s so fun!” Minji smiled and Seungmin noticed Minho’s ears turned pink. “Where are you going now?”

“Getting a band aid for Felix.” Minho motioned to the younger boy.

“I have a boo boo.” Felix pointed to his chin.

“Oh no!” Minji put her fingers over her mouth. “I hope you feel better!”

“He’ll be just fine.” Minho laughed.

“Want me to walk with you to the health center?” she asked.

“Are you sure?” Minho looked surprised.

Seungmin smiled. He had a suspicion Minho liked Minji more than he let show.

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for my boyfriend to be done with classes so I’m free.” she shrugged and fell into step with them.

Oh. She had a boyfriend. Maybe her and Minho were just good friends then.

Felix yanked Minho’s hand, trying to get him to hurry up but he was walking slowly alongside Minji. Seungmin pulled him away and walked a little ahead to give the two some privacy.

They split after they got Felix a new band aid, but Minho gave her a quick hug goodbye and he couldn’t stop smiling after she had left.

It was getting dark as they walked back so it was easy for Jisung to sneak up on them. He grabbed Minho’s shoulders, making him jump. Felix let out a high-pitched squeak of surprise when Minho jumped beside him.

“You scared him!” Minho lightly slapped Jisung’s arm.

“You’re the one who got scared!” Jisung laughed but scooped Felix into his arms next.

“Oh my gosh, you’re getting too big for me!” Jisung gasped.

He slung his arm around Seungmin after setting Felix down.

“How are you?” Jisung asked.

“I’m good.” Seungmin smiled. “How are you?”

“Starving.” Jisung groaned. “I skipped dinner.”

“Jisung!” Minho scolded him. “What did I tell you? We’re going to get food right now!”

“That’s how you get Minho to buy you food.” Jisung whispered in Seungmin’s ear.

“What are you two whispering about.” Minho frowned. “Now I have to feed you!”

“Thank you!” Jisung smiled sweetly and squeezed Seungmin closer.

Minho took them to the store and let them pick out chips and snacks for their sleepover. He made Jisung grab a healthy sandwich as well.

Felix joined them with his arms so full of things his face was hidden. Seungmin stopped him from bumping into the shelves and took off a few items.

“What happened to your chin?” Jisung gasped when he noticed Felix’s band aid.

“Seungmin pushed me down the stairs.” Felix glared at him for taking away a few of his snacks.

Seungmin rolled his eyes as Minho lightly swatted Felix’s bottom.

“I don’t think you need to say it like that.” Minho chastised him.

“But he did!” Felix argued.

“It was an accident.” Seungmin explained to Jisung.

“Of course.” Jisung laughed and patted his shoulder.

When they got back to Minho’s dorm they sprawled around on the floor and eat food and talked. Seungmin was happy to be there. Especially with the addition of Jisung. He made things so fun.

Minho’s roommate was a good sport about them crashing in their room as well. He joined them and talked and laughed along, sharing their snacks. Felix thought he was so cool for having a sparkly keychain.

That let to Jisung showing off his backpack charms to reclaim his spot as Felix’s favorite. Seungmin ended up falling asleep with his cheek pillowed on his arms as the others talked. Felix also fell asleep before him, laying on Jisung’s back.

He woke up to Minho lifting him a couple feet to his sleeping bag. He took Seungmin’s processors out for him. He had already changed into pajamas.

Minho ran his hand over his forehead and then pulled the sleeping bag up to his shoulders.

“Goodnight.” Seungmin said sleepily.

Minho rubbed his shoulder in response.

Seungmin fell asleep with Felix sleeping next to him and Minho in the bed above him. He felt safe and loved. He was with his family and that was what was most important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww writing this made me so soft! Hopefully it made you feel the same! QUICK NOTE! Some notes on closing an open adoption first of all! Technically, it is illegal but then again open adoptions are not legally enforceable either so it’s a grey area. The experience I have had is of adoptive parent closing it which I think was maybe not the best. To put it mildly. In this case, I use the phrase “closing the adoption” loosely. Only because it can’t really be enforced. Essentially what is going on is the birth mother is no longer interested even in the bare minimum contact, which in this story are letters every so often. The mother has just said she isn’t interested in sending or receiving letters and that’s it. Keep in mind this is a story! I wanted to explore this topic since I saw what it was like but of course I wouldn’t have Chan or Ara close the adoption! So if this seems a little unlikely or confusing keep in mind it’s such a grey area!
> 
> Let me know how this chapter was! I wrote it a little differently, having like 3 main scenes instead of a bunch of small ones!


	5. Hyunjin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This is the final POV for this story! Hyunjin! This whole chapter is super fluffy and soft! I had a lot of fun writing it! I really wanted to write a best friend romance story hehe! Hopefully it’s super cute! Also I dumped in a bunch of soft Jeongin since many of you have talked about him! Anddd I have a super important question to ask about the continuation of this story at the end!

Hyunjin had gotten better at managing his epilepsy. It was mostly under control at this point and they had begun to even out his medication.

Though he had chosen to stick with online school for the moment, he was able to get a job. He worked at a little coffee shop on the corner of one of the busiest shopping areas. It was a nice place and Hyunjin enjoyed working there.

The owner was kind and understanding. She accommodated for Kkami to be able to stay by Hyunjin’s side as he worked. She made sure Kkami had a little space where she could see Hyunjin and also stay out of the way. Kkami was very well-behaved and the customers loved her.

Hyunjin mostly did coffee but they also sold fresh pastries and treats which is what they were most well-known for. Hyunjin’s best friend was mostly in charge of the baking.

“You forgot your apron.”

Hyunjin smiled at the girl who helped him tie it around his waist. Miya. She had quickly become his best friend as soon as he graduated high school. She was one of the few people that didn’t seem phased by him having epilepsy.

They had just become friends so naturally. And she lived in their neighborhood so she came over often. Even just to play with Jeongin.

“What are you baking this morning?” he asked.

“Blueberry scones first.” she said. “I’m going to try to change the recipe a little bit.”

“I’m sure it will be delicious.” Hyunjin assured her.

He liked the relaxed atmosphere of the coffeeshop. He just didn’t like Yoon. She was one of the other baristas that definitely had a crush on Hyunjin. She was far from subtle.

Hyunjin tried to avoid her as much as possible. He slipped out on break when she arrived.

He went to the little outdoor patio in the back that was only for the employees. He sat at the table and fed Kkami a treat.

“Hey! I brought you something!” Miya appeared, bringing a scone on a napkin for Hyunjin.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin took it gratefully.

“Let me know how it tastes my taste tester.” she laughed and pet Kkami.

“It’s so good!” Hyunjin closed his eyes in appreciation.

“Yoon told me to switch back to the old recipe but I kind of like this one better.” Miya shrugged.

“Ask the boss.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes. “Yoon is always a little pessimistic.”

“I will.” she sat next to him. “How is everyone?”

She was referring to Hyunjin’s family. Everyone adored her and she loved them too.

“Good.” Hyunjin replied. “Jisung is coming home in a few days so that will be nice.”

“Aw I’m glad.” Miya smiled.

“How are things with you?” Hyunjin asked.

“Um… okay.” she looked away.

“Is that friend still bothering you?” Hyunjin frowned.

“Yeah, she keeps asking me for things but I don’t have time.” she winced.

“You’re too nice.” Hyunjin nudged her shoulder.

She winced and pouted so Hyunjin patted her head in comfort.

“Stay strong.” he encouraged her. “You deserve better than her.”

“Thanks.” she smiled. “I should probably get back before Yoon comes looking for me.”

“I’ll come in too.” Hyunjin patted Kkami’s head and stood up.

They walked back together, feeling a little lighter talking to each other. Work days were always better with Miya around.

But some days were just hard. He still struggled with epilepsy even though it was getting better. Some days he just had a hard time.

The next morning he had a seizure almost immediately after he woke up. Not the best start to his day. He took his time getting ready before going downstairs.

“I’m heading to work.” Hyunjin tried to shake off his lingering post seizure fuzzy brain.

“Make sure to get something to eat.” Misun reminded him.

He grabbed a granola bar and a banana. Jeongin wandered into the kitchen then, rubbing his eyes. He sleepily reached up for Hyunjin.

“Oh I have to go to work in a few minutes.” Hyunjin picked him up anyways.

Jeongin looked at him closely.

“You’re not daddy.” he mumbled but lay his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder anyways.

Hyunjin smiled and rubbed his back. Jeongin was always a little groggy when he first woke up. It was the perfect time to steal snuggles.

“What is it Kkami?” Hyunjin looked down at the dog nudging at his leg.

He groaned and let out a frustrated breath.

“Please don’t tell me it’s one of those days.”

Some days his seizures took up his full focus. He couldn’t do much except rest in between them. From the way Kkami was alerting him, it would probably be one of those days.

He set Jeongin down and headed to find Misun.

“Can you call in to work for me?” he asked. “I have another one coming on so I don’t think I will make it.”

“I’m sorry honey.” Misun made a sad face. “I’ll call for you.”

Hyunjin was lucky his work was pretty flexible about his hours.

He spent the day catching up on some reading for his school instead and just relaxing. Misun took Jeongin with her to the store so Hyunjin had some quiet in the house. He lay on the couch in his comfiest sweater and pajama pants.

When there was a knock on the door, he called for the person to come in, assuming it was Changbin. Instead, Miya came in.

He immediately yanked his blanket up to cover his pajama bottoms and ran his hand over his hair to make sure it wasn’t sticking up.

“Hi.” she came in with a smile.

Hyunjin had told her she could come over whenever she wanted but he had assumed she would give some warning.

“I texted you but you didn’t respond so I assumed it was a bad day.” she made a sad face.

“Oh… yeah.” Hyunjin realized his phone was forgotten on the coffee table.

“I brought you something to cheer you up!” she held up a brown bag.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin sat up a little further against the arm of the couch and adjusted his sweater.

Miya sat next to his legs on the couch and set the bag on the coffee table.

“Don’t worry about calling out.” she consoled him. “Boss overscheduled today. She even sent me home early.”

“Okay good.” Hyunjin watched her pull a pastry out of the bag.

She always knew his favorite.

“Do you want rest or would you like company?” she asked as she handed it to him.

“Stay.” Hyunjin said with certainty. “Tell me about your day.”

She talked while petting Kkami. Daisy came over for pets too.

Hyunjin watched the way her eyes lit up at certain parts and how she moved her hands. She was so pretty without even trying.

After a little while, Hyunjin sat up fully, sharing the blanket with her. He didn’t worry about her knowing that he was in his pajamas anymore. They put on a movie and Kkami lay her head in Hyunjin’s lap.

After a little while, Miya lay her head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. It was comfortable like that. It made Hyunjin feel warm inside.

They broke apart only slightly when Jeongin came in.

“Miya!” he cried, running over to give her a hug.

He sat in Miya’s lap to watch the movie with them. Hyunjin smiled at how Miya rested her chin on Jeongin’s head. It was sweet how she cared for Jeongin too.

When she left, Hyunjin couldn’t stop thinking about her head laying on his shoulder and the way she smelled like the peach tarts she was the best at baking.

“Going to bed now?” Misun came to say goodnight later in the evening.

“Yeah in a minute.” Hyunjin nodded.

“I’m going to have two social workers come over tomorrow around noon.” Misun ran her hand over Hyunjin’s hair. “They’re just going to talk with me for research.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin nodded. He would stay out of their way.

“I love you.” she leaned down to give him a kiss.

Hyunjin leaned into her touch for a moment, appreciating the affection after a long hard day. It felt great to crawl into bed and drift off to sleep.

The next day he didn’t work so he focused on schoolwork, working on his laptop at the kitchen table. Changbin and Jeongin were playing in the living room near him.

When a knock came on the door Hyunjin barely glanced up before returning to his study. He did glance up when Jeongin gasped a little.

“Hi! Come in!” Misun welcomed their guests in.

Hyunjin recognized one of them as one of the workers that had placed Jeongin with them. When he glanced over at Jeongin he frowned. He was acting a little strangely, hiding behind Changbin’s legs. Usually he wasn’t so shy, even with strangers.

The worker that knew Jeongin made a surprised face and waved at him.

“Hi there!” she smiled.

Changbin stepped to the side so she could see Jeongin better. Jeongin reached his hand out for Changbin but stayed frozen in place.

“How are you?” she moved closer.

Jeongin suddenly lunged for Changbin. He knocked him off balance slightly as he wrapped his arms around Changbin’s legs and to everyone’s shock, started to cry.

“Woah. Why are you crying?” Changbin tried to pry him off to look at his face.

“No!” Jeongin cried and struggled against Changbin.

Hyunjin stared at the scene unfolding in shock.

When Changbin tried to hold him away from his leg, he wrapped his arms around Changbin’s wrist instead. Everything escalated so fast.

Hyunjin had never seen Jeongin so distraught. He was sobbing so hard his chest was heaving for breath and he had Changbin’s wrist in a death grip.

When Changbin tried to detach him, Jeongin screamed. It was possibly the worst sound Hyunjin had ever heard. Occasionally Jeongin would raise his voice when he was angry, or squeal when they were playing a game. But never this terrified cry that made Hyunjin flinch with the force of it.

It felt like pandemonium. Changbin was trying to calm Jeongin down, soothing him with his words and rubbing his back.

“Don’t make me go away!” Hyunjin understood suddenly what was wrong and a sudden fierce emotion rose up in him.

He crossed the room and wrapped Jeongin in his arms. He dropped to his knees and hugged him firmly, tucking him against his body protectively. He held onto Jeongin as if his life depended on it.

He knew what Jeongin was terrified of. Those strangers who just wanted to talk to Changbin and Misun were foster care workers, one of which Jeongin only knew as someone who took him away from families or placed him. They had come to the house in the same fashion as if they were extracting a child.

Jeongin thought they had come for him.

“No one is going to take you.” Hyunjin whispered in his ear. “You’re safe here.”

“Daddy!” Jeongin was still crushing Changbin’s hand against his chest, hugging his wrist as if they couldn’t separate them if he held on.

“Get them out of the house.” Hyunjin said sharply. “Get them out.”

Changbin looked bewildered but motioned for Misun to take the two workers outside.

“It’s okay baby, they’re gone.” Hyunjin still held Jeongin firmly, letting him know he was safe in his embrace.

Changbin still looked confused. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t understand. Jeongin had been adopted for two years. He wouldn’t expect that Jeongin had lingering trauma in this area but Hyunjin knew. Hyunjin knew the feeling of dread when workers came to remove him from a home.

Changbin gently stroked Jeongin cheek with his free hand, wiping away the tears streaming down Jeongin’s face.

“He’s scared.” Hyunjin told him. “That the people are here to take him away.”

Recognition dawned over Changbin’s face slowly.

“Oh Jeongin…” he leaned forward until he could hug Jeongin, sandwiching him between Hyunjin and himself.

Hyunjin rested his forehead against Changbin’s shoulder. It honestly shook him up emotionally to see Jeongin break down.

“I would never give you away.” Changbin promised the little boy weeping between them. “I would never.”

Changbin finally managed to pull his arm free from Jeongin’s tight grip but as soon as he did, Jeongin pulled himself flush against Changbin’s chest. Hyunjin eased back, still kneeling. It hurt to see Jeongin grasping Changbin’s shirt tightly in fear. Changbin wrapped him up in his arms so he looked tiny against him, as if he could hide inside his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” Changbin murmured into his hair. “I love you so much sweetheart. I won’t send you away.”

It took a long time for Jeongin to calm down. Even when he was calmer, he wouldn’t detach from Changbin in some way. Changbin stood up to get him tissues and he started sobbing again, begging Changbin not to let anyone else come in the house.

Hyunjin swore his heart physically ached seeing his little brother struggling through so much fear. He wasn’t in the mindset to hear their explanations and comfort so Changbin just had to sit on the couch with Jeongin cuddled between him and Misun.

For an hour or so he stayed with Misun on the couch while Changbin explained things to the workers, over the phone to minimize additional stress. He then got a warm washcloth and gently wiped Jeongin’s face. It was swollen from crying; his eyes were bloodshot and there were pink streaks down his cheeks where he had cried hot tears.

Hyunjin sat near them. He couldn’t leave Jeongin’s side.

Misun made dinner later than usual and Changbin moved around the house, holding Jeongin in his arms. He finally grew so sleepy that his eyes drooped and he lay his head on Changbin’s shoulder.

Changbin carried him around like he would a baby, humming to him softly and lulling him to sleep. He had exhausted himself out.

When he was in bed, Changbin came back downstairs.

“Does he not trust us?” Changbin asked. “I’ve told him over and over that he’s adopted. He won’t ever have to go away.”

“I think it just took him by surprise, and honestly shocked him enough to make him nervous even afterwards.” Hyunjin replied. “Now the idea is in his head it’s hard for him to feel safe again.”

Hyunjin hugged Changbin.

“It’s not your fault. He’ll feel better soon.” Hyunjin smiled.

“It was my fault for not seeing this coming.” Misun bit her lip. “I didn’t even know Jeongin would recognize one of them.”

“It’s okay.” Changbin put his arm around her. “You didn’t know.”

Misun hugged him back, tucking her face against his neck. Hyunjin watched them. They were so gentle and loving with each other.

Later that evening he asked to talk with Changbin.

“What’s up?” Changbin sat on the couch.

“I was just wondering about something…” Hyunjin said, suddenly shy.

Changbin waited for him to speak.

“How do you… know when you like someone?” he asked timidly.

“Like someone? Or love someone?” Changbin caught on quickly.

“L-Love someone.” Hyunjin flushed pink just saying the words.

Changbin smiled and patted his knee.

“Loving someone can be complicated but usually your heart will tell you more plainly than anything else.” Changbin told him. “If you want to be with that person, and protect them, and do your best for them, then you love them.”

“How do I know for sure what I’m feeling though?” Hyunjin asked.

“Well… take Jeongin for example.” Changbin said. “You wanted to protect him when he was scared right? And you want him to be happy. You enjoy spending time with him. That’s love isn’t it?”

Hyunjin nodded.

“If you love this person.” Changbin smiled. Surely, he knew who Hyunjin was talking about. “Then you want all those good things for them. You want to see them be happy and healthy. But it’s also a little more than that.”

Hyunjin tilted his head.

“When you love someone romantically it’s like they’ve stolen a little piece of your heart.” Changbin pressed his hand against his own heart. “They fit perfectly in your life and make you a better person. Like mom. She loved you boys so much, I couldn’t imagine anyone else in her place.”

Hyunjin nodded in understanding.

“It will feel confusing and a little scary but that’s how you know it’s such a big emotion.” Changbin smiled.

Hyunjin thought about it. He kept thinking about it even when he was in bed. He did feel protective over Miya. He didn’t want her to be hurt by people and wanted her to trust that he was there for her.

He always wanted her to be happy and wanted to be by her side often. He even loved that she got along with his family so well. But it was so hard to accept that she was more than a friend. It was a scary emotion.

Hyunjin was woken up in the middle of the night to something, or rather, someone trying to roll him onto his side. It startled him at first, breaking him out of his sleep quicker than usual. It was hard to see in the dark but he could tell it was Jeongin.

“What are you doing?” Hyunjin whispered, rolling onto his side as Jeongin kept pushing his shoulder.

Jeongin pushed back the covers and climbed into his bed next to him. He wiggled down into the warm space under the blankets and cuddled up to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin rested his hand on Jeongin’s back as he pressed his face up against Hyunjin’s chest. It was rare for Jeongin to want to sleep with any of them and he tended to only tolerate snuggles when he was in the mood.

He wondered if Jeongin was still having a hard time from earlier in the day. It honestly broke his heart. He pulled Jeongin close and pressed a kiss to his soft hair.

“I love you so much.” he whispered in the dark.

In the morning he went to work already feeling butterflies in his chest thinking about seeing Miya. But when he got there, he could tell something was wrong.

She didn’t greet him when he came in. She didn’t even notice, seeming lost in her own world. He went to talk to her but was cornered by Yoon before he could get to her.

“Hi Hyunjin!” she said with an overenthusiastic tone.

“Um hi.” Hyunjin tried to step around her.

“I’m in charge of the coffee station today and I need your help.” she pinched his sleeve and dragged him in the opposite direction.

She kept him so busy that he wasn’t able to see Miya until it was breaktime. Luckily, they had the same break rotation.

He joined her at the little table outside. Instead of sitting across from her, he sat beside her.

“You’re sad again.” he pointed out.

“I’m not sad.” she tried to smile.

“Disappointed then?” Hyunjin read her expression.

“Maybe a little.” she shrugged.

“What happened?” Hyunjin asked.

“It’s going to sound stupid.” she blushed.

Hyunjin smiled and boldly put his arm around her shoulders.

“Nothing will sound stupid if it bothers you.” he said.

“I just feel like some of my friends aren’t _really_ my friends. They just want to use me for things.” she rubbed her arm shyly.

“See that’s not stupid at all.” Hyunjin replied. “That’s actually hurtful. I’m sorry that’s happening. You don’t deserve that.”

She shrugged and looked down at the sandwich in her hand.

Hyunjin caught her other hand and held it up.

“Your nails are so pretty.” he commented. “Did you do them yourself?”

“Yeah. Blue this time.” she turned her hand so he could see. Hyunjin smiled seeing her quickly forget about her sorrows.

“You do a really good job.” he inspected them carefully. “You should do them as a side job.”

“Oh I don’t know.” she shook her head. “I’m not that good.”

“Um… yeah you are!” Hyunjin argued.

“Maybe.” she covered her face shyly.

When they went back to work, Hyunjin noticed she looked at her hands like she was thinking.

“Do you think I should do nails? Just for fun?” she asked out loud.

“Nails?” Yoon butted in as always, grabbing her hand. “Eh, I wouldn’t. Not practical. I would go to a salon.”

Hyunjin frowned.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess a salon is better…” her smile fell.

“You can do mine.” Hyunjin spoke up.

“Huh?” she looked surprised. Yoon blinked at him too.

“Paint mine.” Hyunjin repeated. “I want you to do them.”

He remembered what Changbin had told him. When you love someone you want them to be happy. You want to support what they love. Hyunjin already supported her baking. Why not her artistic hobby as well?

“A-Are you sure?” she asked again.

“Yep. Come over later and do them for me.” Hyunjin smiled.

Yoon glowered at the two of them but Hyunjin didn’t care. It was worth it seeing Miya’s face light up with excitement.

He had brightened her mood for the day. She even hummed while kneading dough together.

Hyunjin was excited when she came over. He was happy for any excuse to get to spend time with her. She kept asking if he was sure but he assured her he really wanted to do it.

It was nice watching her be so focused on her work. She held his hand so gently it gave Hyunjin butterflies. When her hair slipped down, he used his other hand to tuck it behind her ear again.

“Thanks.” she smiled without looking up.

Hyunjin rested his chin in his hand, watching her face more than her hands.

Jeongin and Changbin came home then. Changbin shared a knowing smile with Hyunjin before slipping into his office.

Jeongin climbed into Hyunjin’s lap and poked his head through Hyunjin’s arms to watch. Hyunjin laughed and squeezed his arms together for a moment, squishing Jeongin’s cheeks between them.

“Hey!” Jeongin pouted so Hyunjin let him go.

“What are you doing?” Jeongin watching Miya work with curiosity.

“She’s painting my nails.” Hyunjin explained. “Do you like the color?”

It was a navy color. Jeongin nodded.

“Can you do it to me?” he asked Miya.

“Sure thing!” she laughed and tapped his nose.

After Hyunjin was done, she did Jeongin. Hyunjin held him still on his lap, making sure he didn’t move around too much. He had fun looking through her colors and decided on a shimmery peach color.

He asked Miya lots of questions while she worked. Hyunjin liked watching them interact together. She was so sweet to him.

Once she was done, she squeezed a little bit of lotion on his hands and gave him a massage. Jeongin giggled, thinking it was ticklish.

“Your turn.” she reached for Hyunjin hands.

He blushed as she gently massaged the lotion into his hands. Her hands were soft and smaller than Hyunjin’s.

Jeongin ran off so they were alone together.

“Want to go on a walk?” Hyunjin suggested.

“Sure!” she agreed.

They walked through the neighborhood with Kkami trailing beside them.

Miya kept holding up his hand to look at his fingers.

“Do you like them?” Hyunjin teased.

“A lot.” she smiled. “Feels like… we match.”

“We do.” Hyunjin nodded.

After walking for a little while, Hyunjin decided he would be brave. His heart was beating like crazy but he mustered up the courage to reach for Miya’s hand. His fingers brushed up against hers for a moment before he slipped their hands together, interlocking their fingers.

She smiled up at him and squeezed his hand back. He ended up bringing her home to her house since it was getting late.

When he got home, he took out his excitement on Jeongin by squeezing him tightly and squealing into his shoulder.

“Get off!” Jeongin struggled away from him.

“I’m just too happy!” Hyunjin laughed and did a little happy dance.

Jeongin gave him an odd look at then returned to what he was doing.

The excitedness lasted Hyunjin a while, but on the weekend, he was starting to feel lonely. No one was home and online school wasn’t the best at times because it was hard to connect with people.

He didn’t want to call Miya since he had called her the night before and he knew she needed to study. Plus it was late. So he called another person he missed.

“Hi.” Hyunjin said when Jisung picked up the phone.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jisung replied.

“Um…” Hyunjin felt shy just wanting to talk to him. “Just checking in.”

“Oh. Cool.” Jisung replied. “So… you don’t need anything?”

“Not really.” Hyunjin rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I just wanted to know how your day was.”

“It was good. I had classes literally all day and now I’m finally back in my dorm just studying.” Jisung answered. “How about you?”

“I did school too. Worked with Changbin on some stuff in the garage.” Hyunjin nodded even though Jisung couldn’t see him.

“I’m coming home on the weekend.” Jisung said. “I miss my little fox.”

“Wow, thanks for the honorable mention.” Hyunjin scoffed.

“You are my enemy.” Jisung teased. “Changbin has been sending me all these photos of you and Jeongin! You’re stealing my number one fan!”

Hyunjin imagined Jisung leaning back in his chair, probably in sweatpants and a hoodie like always. It was a comforting image.

“I miss you.” Hyunjin let the words slip out.

Jisung was quiet for a moment.

“I miss you too.” Jisung replied. “Are you… okay?”

“Can’t I miss you without having you worry about me?” Hyunjin laughed.

“Well, I’m sorry!” Jisung acted offended. “You are calling me late at night, it’s like peak lonely hours.”

“You sound like you speak from experience.” Hyunjin teased back.

“I’ll be home soon so you don’t have to miss me.” Jisung called truce.

“You’ll crash in my room again and I have to deal with you sleep talking.” Hyunjin rolled his eyes.

“I do not!” Jisung gasped.

“I’m just kidding.” Hyunjin smiled.

“Anyways… I’ll see you tomorrow. I have to finish up my homework.” Jisung sighed.

“Okay.” Hyunjin nodded even though Jisung couldn’t see him. “See you soon.”

“See ya soon.” Jisung replied before hanging up.

Hyunjin sat on his bed, biting his thumb for a few minutes. He was sometimes envious of Jisung being at college but he tried to brush the negative thoughts away. He was happy for Jisung. He really was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a big question to ask! When I think about where this story is going, I am deciding about how far it can realistically go. I personally like to keep things really broad with lots of room! That’s why I’ve essentially kept all the Stray Kids characters reasonably separate and added original characters to add some structure. That way there can be many settings, experiences, etc. But I am getting awfully tired of the original characters lol. I was wondering if adding another group might be fun! Or, writing a new series that was similar to this one concept wise but with a new group, and then they begin to crossover.   
> That may be confusing so imagine this. After this part of the story ends, I switch over to writing with a new group and then resume where their worlds collide with this story. But what group? I honestly follow just about every boy group out there and a few girl groups too. Are there any groups that you would like to see? It’s not a promise! But I was thinking The Boyz, CIX or MCND? Just a thought! One of those… Would that be okay? To mix fandoms?


	6. Chan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Popping back in to post a chapter even though I am still wrapping up Harbor! If you didn't know, I am adding The Boyz into this universe! If you are confused, you can catch up with Harbor! Which takes place 8 years prior to this part of the series. Hopefully this chapter is fun to read! It's super fluffy and cute with lot's of sunshine Felix because ya'll seem to adore him! <3

Chan was reminded of how much Felix struggled every so often. He had become such a bright, happy child, but there were still days that were incredibly hard. Usually on days where Chan’s patience wore thin.

“Felix! If you don’t come here right now!” Chan shouted through the house.

“Hey…” Ara ran her hand over his back, sensing an impending storm. “Do you need a break?”

“What I need is for him to listen for once.” Chan huffed. “He’s so disobedient today!”

“Want me to take over?” Ara asked.

“You have work in a bit.” Chan glanced at the clock.

“I can help for a bit.” Ara pressed a brief kiss to his cheek and went off to find their naughty boy.

“I need new cleats.” Seungmin appeared, seeming to be oblivious of the situation.

“I’m kind of in the middle of something.” Chan groaned. “Ask me later.”

“Fine…” Seungmin grumbled, leaving the room.

Felix was still in a mood after Ara left. When Chan asked him to clean up his mess in the living room, he pulled a full-on fit, throwing the toys Chan had asked him to pick up in the general direction of their basket and then stomping upstairs.

Chan waited a bit before going to find him.

He was surprised to find Felix with his backpack open on his bed as he stuffed his clothes into it.

“What are you doing?” Chan asked, coming into the room.

“I’m running away.” Felix replied.

Even though Chan was frustrated at him, he had to bite back a smile as Felix glared up at him but only succeeded in looking pouty.

“Where are you running away to?” Chan asked, genuinely curious.

Felix yanked his arm away from Chan’s grip and made a show of dusting it off before shoving his plushie into his backpack.

“To a new family.” Felix stated with conviction.

“I see…” Chan sat on the bed next to him.

“I need money.” Felix held his hand out.

“For what sunshine?” Chan couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him.

Felix glared at him for using his nickname and laughing at him.

“For things.” he mumbled, going into the bathroom to collect his toothbrush.

Chan’s frustration bled away as he watched Felix collect his possessions.

“What about Seungmin?” Chan asked him as he returned. “Aren’t you going to miss him?”

Felix stayed silent, his frown deepening.

“And Minho!” Chan tapped his shoulder. “He’ll want to see you!”

“They can visit me.” Felix tipped his chin up. “But not you.”

He jabbed his small finger at Chan accusingly.

“Fair.” Chan shrugged. “But I’ll miss you! Can I come with you?”

“No.” Felix shook his head. “I’m running away. By myself.”

Chan nodded, an idea coming into his mind. He left the room and went to his own room, pulling out the hiking backpack he hadn’t used in a while. He stuffed a few of his own clothes inside and zipped it up. Then he headed downstairs and waited.

Felix appeared after a while, his backpack overstuffed and the largest plushie he owned held in his hand since it wouldn’t fit.

Chan waited for him to put his shoes on before he stood up and grabbed his own backpack. He followed Felix out the door.

“Where are you going?” Felix frowned at him.

“With you.” Chan replied.

“No. You can’t.” Felix crossed his arms.

“But I’ll miss you so much!” Chan crossed his own arms. “I have to come with you so I don’t get sad.”

Felix opened and closed his mouth a few times before grunting angrily and starting down the steps.

Chan followed him down the sidewalk for a minute or two before Felix turned to him again.

“Go home!” Felix pointed back towards the house which was still in eyesight.

“I’m coming with you.” Chan repeated.

Felix stalked over and tried his best to push Chan back in that direction. Chan didn’t budge, making Felix grit his teeth in frustration.

Felix gave up but had another idea. He suddenly turned and ran as fast as he could down the sidewalk. Chan found it adorable how his heavy backpack slowed him down by bouncing up and down as he ran.

Chan followed at a jog, his own backpack light.

Felix wore himself out quickly. When he turned and saw Chan was still behind him, he let out a sad whine and tilted his head back in despair. Chan stood just behind him innocently. It was cute how he held his plushie in his arms even as he was angry.

“Go away!” he cried.

“I think you’re right.” Chan pretended to think carefully. “Seungmin and I were going to play catch outside. And tonight is movie night so we were going to have ice cream…”

Felix tilted his head at him, realizing what he was missing out on.

“Is it okay if I go back home now?” Chan asked, turning back slightly.

“Won’t you miss me?” Felix asked, looking confused.

“You can call me when you find a new family.” Chan said. “I’ll come visit you.”

“Wait!” Felix stopped him as he turned away. “I… don’t have a phone.”

“Hmm…” Chan pretended to think again. “Maybe you can borrow someone’s.”

Felix didn’t look reassured. He stood there with his backpack half the size of him, looking small.

“Okay. I’m going to go back now.” Chan said. “Call me when you get there.”

He turned back, knowing Felix wouldn’t be able to resist the bribe of playing baseball and movie night. Especially since ice cream was involved.

As he walked back, he was slightly impressed by how stubborn Felix was. He didn’t run after Chan immediately. It took a minute before he broke.

He heard Felix running towards him before he grabbed his hand.

“Oh!” Chan gripped his hand back. “Are you coming home?”

“It’s too late to go now.” Felix mumbled. “It will be dark.”

“Ah, you’re right.” Chan played along, swinging their hands slightly.

They walked back quietly as the sun started to set. Chan could feel Felix calming down, his anger draining away as he walked with Chan. He dragged his feet a little as the weight of his backpack got tiring.

Chan slipped it off of his back and held it on his front. Felix let his plushie trail from his hand.

When they got inside the house, Chan set down their backpacks.

“Ready to play catch?” Chan asked Seungmin as he came downstairs.

“Yeah.” Seungmin nodded. “Why does Felix have his backpack.”

“He’s running away to a new family.” Chan explained for him, sending a subtle wink to Seungmin.

Felix remembered he was supposed to be angry so he crossed his arms and glared at Chan.

“I guess he won’t want to play catch with us then.” Seungmin smiled, catching on the what Chan was doing.

Chan forced himself not to laugh as Seungmin and him threw the ball in the backyard. Felix had migrated from pouting on the couch, to pressing his face up against the glass door, watching them. He was adorable even though he was being grumpy.

Chan was still surprised how well he was able to resist giving up his grudge against him.

It finally broke when Seungmin and Chan came in, ready to watch a movie.

“I think you should go to bed now.” Chan told Felix. “If you want to be rested to find a new family tomorrow.”

Felix sat still, considering for a long moment. Chan waited, expecting him to finally give up his fight.

“I want to watch with you…” Felix looked at Chan with sorrowful eyes and a hopeful expression.

“Okay.” Chan nodded.

Felix cuddled up to Seungmin while they watched the movie.

As they got ready to have ice cream, Felix spoke up about his ice cream choice.

“We are out of vanilla bud.” Chan told Felix, showing him the empty carton.

“Can you get more at the store tomorrow?” Felix asked him.

“You won’t be here tomorrow, right?” Chan pointed out.

Felix was silent as he remembered he was supposed to be running away.

Chan turned back to dish up Seungmin’s ice cream but he was startled by Felix sniffling behind him.

He turned around in time for Felix to burst into tears.

“Oh… sunshine.” Chan set down his bowl immediately and scooped him up into his arms even though he was getting big. “Too far. I’m sorry.”

Felix wrapped his arms around Chan’s neck, holding him tightly.

“I’m sorry baby.” Chan rubbed his back, worried he took the illusion too far.

“I don’t w-want to run away a-anymore.” Felix whimpered.

“Oh no. Stay here with me.” Chan pressed kisses against his neck and cheek. “I would miss you too much. You can’t leave.”

“Wanna stay.” Felix sniffled, his hands bunching up in Chan’s sweater.

“You’re stuck with us sunshine.” Chan gave him a squeeze.

Felix calmed down after a little bit.

He lay against Chan on the couch, eating his ice cream and sniffling every so often.

“When is mommy coming home?” he asked.

“She’ll be home soon.” Chan stroked his hair back. It was sweet that he was missing Ara too now that he had slipped down from his emotional distress earlier.

He let Ara put him to bed, even though he usually argued he was too big for a bedtime routine.

“I am so worn out.” Chan groaned when Ara joined him on the couch.

“Seungmin told me Felix tried to run away.” Ara laughed lightly. “Seems like you’ve been struggling with him all day.”

“Yes and I’m tired.” Chan pulled her close and rested his head on her shoulder, content to fall asleep right there on the couch.

“Poor thing.” she ran her hands through his hair, combing out his curls.

“Today actually reminded me how much I love that darn kid.” Chan smiled against her. “Even when he’s throwing a fit, I just want to wrap him up and protect him from everything.”

“He’s a sweetheart.” Ara agreed, rubbing her hand up his arm. “He asked me to tell you that he will see you in the morning.”

“Oh gosh, I think I made him cry because I played along with him running away.” Chan sighed.

“He always cries when he comes down from a tantrum.” Ara reminded him. “As long as you cuddle all the tears away, I’m sure he’s just fine.”

“We’re so lucky.” Chan murmured, the weight of what had happened settling on him.

Felix could have never connected with them. He could have still been detached and difficult and hard to work with.

While he still had quite a lot of moments, he balanced them out by being such a sweet, loving child. He really was their little sunshine.

“Okay, up we go. Time for bed.” Ara coaxed him up off of the couch even though he whined about it.

“I miss our biggest baby.” Chan intertwined their hands just to head to their bedroom.

“He’s visiting on the weekend.” Ara reminded him.

“Still.” Chan smiled. “I wish we could have him back every day.”

“Me too.” Ara agreed as they closed the door, ready for a well-earned sleep.

Chan was woken up in the morning by Felix climbing on top of him.

“Ah- Felix.” Chan mumbled, a little irritated to be woken up be a knee to the stomach.

“Oops.” Felix ignored that he was still half on top of Chan and crawled the rest of the way over him to wiggle in between him and Ara.

It had been a while since Felix last came to wake them up in the morning.

“What are you- oh no.” Chan shook his head and tried to transplant Felix off of their bed.

Felix giggled happily and held up one of his favorite toys. Chan absolutely hated it. It was a round puppy, but it was meant to be a back massager. Something in the programming seemed to be off because it seemed particularly aggressive.

Chan was ticklish and Felix knew it. He turned on the massager and wiggled under the covers to torture Chan.

Chan got the message. He was supposed to get up since it was his turn to take the boys to school.

“Don’t you dare put that- ah!” Chan jerked as Felix ran it over his side.

He quickly kicked away the blankets and got out of bed. He would rather be up early than have to face the awful massager.

Felix laughed happily and ran it over Ara’s back.

“Feels nice honey.” she murmured, content to stay in bed.

“You little tease.” Chan grabbed Felix and yanked him out of the bed, carrying him downstairs over his shoulder for breakfast. He confiscated the massager so he could find a new hiding spot for it.

He went to work at the office, which he rarely did and then came back home early. Ara picked up the boys from school on her way home from work a bit later.

“My peace and quiet is gone.” Chan joked when they came in the door.

Right on cue, Felix dropped his backpack with a crash, his pencils scattering over the floor. Chan noticed Seungmin smiling happily as Felix cleaned up the writing utensils.

“What are you so happy about?” Chan asked when Seungmin greeted him.

“My new friend.” Seungmin beamed as he kicked his shoes off at the door.

“You have a new friend?” Chan’s chest squeezed with excitement.

“Uh-huh.” Seungmin nodded happily. “He’s in my class and he doesn’t care about me being deaf.”

“Oh?” Chan glanced at Ara.

“It’s our first time meeting each other because we have never been in the same group before.” Seungmin explained. “But he’s nice and when I couldn’t understand, because everyone was talking at once, he wrote some things down for me.”

“That’s… great bud.” Chan was more than happy that he had a friend who was understanding.

“Can he come over on Friday?” Seungmin asked.

“Yeah. That sounds fine.” Chan nodded. “Will his mom or dad drop him off? I would love to meet them.”

“His dad.” Seungmin nodded. “He’s like me.”

“Like you?” Chan smiled curiously at him.

“He’s adopted like me.” Seungmin nodded before heading upstairs.

Chan and Ara shared a look.

“Seems like this new friend is the whole package.” Chan smiled.

“I know. I’m so glad he just found someone.” Ara nodded. “I’m all for this new friendship.”

“Speaking of friendships. Felix will be here on Friday and I know he’s shy but… if he starts to get comfortable, he may try to steal the show.” Chan laughed. “Would you be okay taking if for a little bit later in the day?”

“Yeah that’s fine.” Ara agreed.

“Are you talking about me?” Chan turned to see Felix standing nearby.

“What are you doing?” Chan scolded as Ara groaned.

Felix looked down at his muddy rainboots that were tracking water and dirt all over the clean floors.

“Oops. I forgot.” he said sheepishly.

“First Seungmin and now you.” Ara shook her head. “Alright, shoo. Back outside.”

“I’ll clean it.” Chan squeezed her shoulder as she passed.

Chan was the only one home when Seungmin had his friend over on Friday.

“They’re here!” Seungmin called out when they pulled up.

Chan smiled at his excitement. It had been a while since Seungmin was so excited.

He opened the door before Chan could get to it, greeting his friend happily.

“Hi there!” Chan raised his hand in greeting to both the young boy, and his father behind him.

“Dad! This is Chanhee.” Seungmin introduced them.

“Nice to meet you, I’m also a Chan.” Chan chuckled and shook his hand.

The two boys ran off, leaving Chan with the boy’s father.

“Sangyeon.” the man offered his hand; which Chan shook firmly.

“Nice to meet you as well.” Chan bowed his head. “Seungmin has told me a lot about your son.”

“Likewise.” Sangyeon chuckled. “Seungmin has been a good friend for him at school.”

“Oh, I’m glad to hear it.” Chan’s heart swelled with the praise. “Would you like to come in?”

“Just for a minute.” Sangyeon stepped inside. “I have to be honest with you, Chanhee told me Seungmin was adopted and it caught my interest.”

“Oh yeah!” Chan nodded. “I have three adopted boys.”

“Wow…” Sangyeon nodded slowly. “I’ve got two.”

“Feel free to sit down.” Chan gestured to the table.

“I’m glad Seungmin and Chanhee are friends.” Sangyeon sat. “I think they’ve really connected, especially over having a similar adoption experience.”

“That’s really great.” Chan grinned. “I’m also really glad. Seungmin sometimes has a hard time putting himself out there.”

“He’s very sweet and polite.” Sangyeon observed. “Maybe he can balance Chanhee out a little.”

Chan laughed at that, knowing the feeling of being a parent and knowing how their child was behind the scenes.

“How old is your other one?” Chan asked.

“A year older.” Sangyeon replied. “He’s home at the moment.”

“I also have an older one.” Chan smiled. “He’s away at college at the moment.”

“Oh, so much older!” Sangyeon looked surprised. “You must have adopted him when you were young…”

“Yeah, he was a bit older than most people would expect when we started fostering him.” Chan explained. “We eventually adopted him even though he was almost old enough to age out of the system.”

“Reminds me of an intern that started working for me.” Sangyeon nodded. “He has a similar background and is now working with kids.”

“oh wow…” Chan frowned slightly. “My son also works with kids. Where do you work?”

“I actually work at a group home facility not too far from here.” Sangyeon waved his hand in the direction. “We provide support for youth that are struggling.”

Chan smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“Minho, right?”

“Huh?” Sangyeon stare blankly at him.

“Your new intern is named Minho, right?” Chan clarified.

“Yeah… how did you know?” Sangyeon looked bewildered for a moment before he connected the dots.

“My son.” Chan smiled proudly. “He’s doing the internship for one of his advanced classes.”

“Wow.” Sangyeon laughed. “What a small world!”

“I’m so glad I met you.” Chan nodded. “Minho is really enjoying his time with you.”

“He’s doing amazing.” Sangyeon assured him. “He’s been working for less than a month but the kids already love him!”

“That’s good.” Chan filed the comment away to share with Minho later.

“It seems like you’ve raised good kids.” Sangyeon complimented him.

“Oh, that’s very kind of you to say-.” Chan was interrupted by the door opening.

“I’m here!” Felix called out, kicking off his shoes in the entryway.

“My youngest.” Chan told Sangyeon.

Ara followed after him with an arm full of groceries. She smiled and waved at Sangyeon.

“Come say hi.” Chan beckoned Felix over, who was suddenly shy.

He shuffled over and leaned close to Chan.

“This is Chanhee’s daddy.” Chan told Felix. “He knows Minho too.”

Felix cocked his head curiously at that.

“Your older brother works with me.” Sangyeon smiled at Felix warmly.

Felix nodded at him.

“Speaking of work, I should probably get going.” Sangyeon stood. “It was so nice to get to know you a little. Hopefully we can meet again soon when I have more time?”

“Yes, of course!” Chan saw him to the door. “Would you like me to bring Chanhee home?”

“If you wouldn’t mind that would be awesome.” Sangyeon thanked him. “Give me your number and I will text you the address.”

“Perfect.” Chan and Sangyeon exchanged phones and numbers.

Chan waved him goodbye as he left.

“He seems nice.” Ara commented as he came back inside. “A new friend for you too maybe?”

“Definitely.” Chan grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope everyone has a wonderful day! Hopefully this little chapter will hold you over until I finish Harbor and hop back on this one! >u<


	7. UPDATE!

Hi everyone! Very important announcement! It’s really nothing too big for all of you but it’s kinda major for me! I have decided to postpone my story Snow so that I can finish this story off as soon as possible! The reason why is…

I took a week break and during that time, I did a serious analysis of my writing. I won’t censor myself… it just really sucked. My writing is so bad and I think I was on this high of pumping out a lot of stories and information as a release for myself, that I failed to actually write _well_. I don’t want my stories to just be so-so, or given to you all hastily. They are precious gifts I really do want to give to each of you with intentionality.

Here's my plan. I will finish Shelter up really fast, without doing much editing because it would really mess with the whole tone and flow of the story. Then! I will actually completely finish my next story that is coming up so that I can have a solid first draft. Then I will edit and I mean really edit! Everything from sentence types to character development. I will literally sit at my desk with my coffee and my twinkle lights on and be a crazy editor haha! I still don’t think this will take me too long, so expect the new story to be out before Christmas or at least before the new year. Some of you may be confused on how my new stories will be different! Don’t worry! I will explain!

  1. No more hasty connectors in between scenes! The scenes will flow smoothly and I won’t start off a new scene with someone randomly starting to speak. I am so sorry about this in the past this was really me just rushing.
  2. Limiting the dialogue tags! No more repetitive “he said, “he answered”, “he whispered”! there will still be some of course, since they are needed, but I will try not to have them become repetitive and overused! (Also want to cut out the action tags acting like dialogue tags)
  3. No more bare bones! My stories look like just action and dialogue round and round and I hate it! I’m sure you hate it too! I promise I will work on having plenty of necessary descriptions, lots more personal thoughts that aren’t expressed in dialogue, and no more long scenes of dialogue that don’t feel broken up!
  4. I want you to feel like you are _in_ the story, not just me telling it. I will ask if I achieved this when I post my newest story. I want you to be hooked on the very first line and be carried through the whole story! I want it to be magical. I will really try to achieve this experience!
  5. I will cut the super dramatic scenes all smooshed together like a slap in the face every chapter! I want the story to have such depth that you will want to read it again!



IF YOU READ THIS FAR YOU GET A TREAT!!

Thank you for reading this far, I got super wordy but it’s because I have really struggled with this. I already cried twice and came just inches close to deleting all of my stories! Here is a major spoiler heading into the future with this new story.

*whispers* It’s not one, it’s two!

I have two stories but I will post one at a time since I will still update Snow slowly.

1: Minho & Jisung centric + baby

You have no idea how excited I am for this one! It was so much fun to write! Like I said, I will finish it up and deep edit it before posting. This takes place just after Shelter but Minho has graduated and Jisung lives with him and surprise! They get a baby! But I won’t tell you how yet because I am already spoiling a lot! Also I won’t give away who the baby is yet! (It’s not Eric or Kevin since I know you will probably ask me if it’s them hehe!)

2: I did some browsing and honestly, I didn’t do that good of a job because I only ended up actually reading 2 things… but I saw this trend (?) of hybrid things. I have no bad feelings towards this interesting genre/idea but I don’t find it to be something I could ever do. But it reignited this old idea I had a long time ago of a similar concept of humans who aren’t quite humans… (Don’t worry they aren’t robots or superheros) and I picked it back up. I like this idea of natural and unnatural meeting and making it work so yes, my second story coming soon is something along these lines! Idk how to describe it but if you have question just ask me and I can chat about it!

I’m open to chat about anything! I really want to get to know you more! It would be great to have a community I can join, sharing thoughts and impressions and things like that! This was super lengthy, but if you read it all you are a champ! Love you so much! <3


	8. Jisung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Apologies in advance for this super short chapter! It's unedited and doesn't have much to it other than wrapping up some loose ends, but my brain is too dead to think of additional scenes! We are getting close to the end of the series! Ahh!! 
> 
> TW: Brief physical violence, Emotional distress

“Hello? Earth to Jisung.” Minho waved his hand in front of Jisung’s face.

“Huh?” Jisung snapped out of his trance.

“You’re zoning out.” Minho deadpanned. “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing.” Jisung shook his head. “I’m just really busy with all of my classes.”

“You have straight A’s in all of your classes and you study like crazy.” Minho replied. “I think you need to think a little less about school.”

“Sorry.” Jisung mumbled, looking back at his book again. They were studying in a study room in the library.

“We should do something fun tonight.” Minho interrupted him again.

“I can’t, I’m busy.” Jisung sighed.

“Exactly what I am talking about. There is more to school then just the homework.” Minho pointed out.

“Easy for you to say. You’re almost done with school, and you are working- everything is turning out perfectly for you” Jisung complained.

“Work is hard and school is hard, but I make sure to take time off to do fun things.” Minho persisted.

“Fine. I’ll… try to make time.” Jisung sighed.

“Right now…” Minho closed Jisung’s book. “Let’s go get lunch.”

“Not hungry.” Jisung shrugged.

“Jisung.” Minho’s tone indicated that he knew Jisung was just avoiding eating. “You didn’t eat much last night so I’m making you eat now.”

“Can’t you give me a break?” Jisung groaned.

“I gave you a break last night.” Minho grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

Jisung grumbled, but a little spark of warmth lit him up inside. It was nice to have Minho care, and not feed into his insecurities.

Unfortunately, his roommate was the exact opposite. When he got back to his room later that night, he was in a mood.

“I lost my laptop.” Soomin informed Jisung the minute he stepped in the room.

“O-Okay…” Jisung nodded.

Soomin was obviously angry with the way he was throwing stuff around, including Jisung’s things.

“You were the only other person who has been in here.” Soomin accused him. “Did you d something with it?”

“No, of course not.” Jisung denied.

After another few minutes of looking, and Jisung awkwardly standing there, Soomin was ready to burst.

“Where is it?!” Soomin shouted at Jisung.

“I swear I don’t have it!” Jisung raised his hands.

“You and I were the only people in this room!” Soomin continued to shout. “The only one who could have taken it is you!”

“But I didn’t!” Jisung denied, shaking his head vigorously.

Soomin narrowed his eyes.

“Would Minho have taken it?” he took a step closer to Jisung.

“N-no. Of course not.” Jisung took a step back.

“Sometimes I get the feeling you two are up to something behind my back.” Soomin spat. “I guess I’ll go find out.”

He moved towards the door but Jisung caught his arm. He knew Minho wouldn’t do such a thing but he was afraid of the confrontation if Soomin was angry. He knew Minho would be quick to argue back.

“He didn’t do it!” Jisung held him from taking another step.

“Then who did it? Did you do it?” Soomin all but yelled in his face.

“I didn’t!” Jisung denied it again. “Maybe you accidentally set it somewhere else!”

“I’ve already looked through the whole room!” Soomin flung his arm out to the side. “Where else would it be?”

“Maybe you forgot it at class or the library a-and thought you brought it back!” Jisung racked his brain for ideas.

“I’m not stupid!” Soomin snapped. “I would have known!”

“Then maybe one of your friends took it!” Jisung blurted out. “They could have done it to get back at you for something. A-as a joke I mean!”

“Are you trying to imply my own friends would steal my laptop?” Soomin just kept escalating the situation. Jisung didn’t know what to say anymore.

He glared at Jisung and reached for the door.

“No!” Jisung grabbed his arm again and Soomin snapped.

“Let me go!” he shouted and his hand connected hard with Jisung’s cheek.

Jisung had never been struck by a supposed friend before. It knocked the breath out of him when Soomin slapped him. He just froze, stunned, his head turned down and to the side.

For a moment there was only Soomin’s heavy breathing and Jisung’s frantic heartbeat and then Jisung was crushed in a hug. Soomin wrapped his arms around him quickly before he could cry.

Jisung wanted to push away. He didn’t want Soomin to touch him, but his arms were trapped in between Soomin’s chest and his own.

“I’m so sorry.” Soomin said, rubbing his back. “It was an accident.”

Jisung’s cheek burned. It was a harsh “accident”. His heart was pounding at the realization that Soomin had just… hit him.

He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want Soomin holding him. It wasn’t comforting. Especially after being yelled at and falsely accused and hit.

“It was just a mistake okay?” Soomin pulled back to look at him. “It was a mistake.”

Jisung took a few short breaths, tears threatening to spill. He kept his head down, trying to hide from Soomin’s gaze.

“Here.” Soomin grabbed his arm and pulled him a bit unwillingly to his bed. He looped his arm around Jisung’s waist and pulled him back onto the bed with him. Jisung tensed. He was leaning up against the wall with Soomin’s arm around him.

He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want Soomin touching him. He didn’t want to feel trapped by his arm around his waist that tightened fractionally as he tensed.

A few tears escaped silently and Soomin rubbed them away with his thumb.

Jisung tilted his head away, his heart still racing. He felt trapped.

“Don’t cry. I’m trying to help you.” Soomin said. “I hate it when you cry.”

Jisung just shook his head. He didn’t know what to say.

“It really was an accident. So you can stop crying.” Soomin pressed.

He dug his fingertips ever so slightly into Jisung’s tummy and his breath caught.

He wiped at his tears and stared off blankly at the opposite wall.

“See. All better now.” Soomin said in a fake cheerful tone. “We worked it out. You don’t have to tell anyone, okay? I would be sad if anyone knew about my mistake.”

When Jisung didn’t respond, he rubbed his hands in circles on Jisung’s tummy. The tummy he had called fat just a few days ago.

“We’ll keep it between us, right?” he said. “I… I’ll make it up to you! I can buy you a new sweater or something.”

Jisung knew what he was doing. He was trying to bribe Jisung into staying silent. Into taking it submissively. Honestly Jisung just wanted him to stop touching him. He didn’t like being so close to Soomin, trapped in his embrace.

He just wanted to get out, so he nodded.

“Good.” Soomin smiled a little bit. “Do you want something? I can buy you food.”

“No thank you.” Jisung said quietly. “I-I think I’ll just get something from the vending machine.”

“If you want.” Soomin shrugged.

It gave Jisung an excuse to stand up. He took his time grabbing his wallet and fixing his sweater even though his brain was screaming at him to run. He didn’t want Soomin to get suspicious.

He headed towards the vending machine but detoured and went to Minho’s room.

As soon as Minho opened the door, he surged forward and hugged him tightly, knocking them back into his room.

“Woah!” Minho laughed and then hugged him back. “What’s up?”

He caught on quickly with Jisung sobbing against him.

He pushed the door closed with his foot and held Jisung more securely. Jisung clutched the back of his shirt tightly, trying to draw himself as close as possible against Minho.

“What’s wrong Ji?” he asked after a few minutes and Jisung wasn’t calming down.

“Don’t make me go back!” Jisung sobbed. “Please don’t make me go back!”

“Back where?” Minho sounded confused.

“I can’t b-be around him anymore!” Jisung half choked on air. “Please d-don’t send me back!”

“Okay hold on.” Minho tried to detach Jisung but he held on tightly.

He exerted a bit of force to pry Jisung off.

“You have to calm down and speak slowly.” he guided him. “I can’t understand you like this.”

Jisung stood taking hiccupping breaths. Minho put his hand on Jisung’s chest, trying to calm his breathing.

“Why is your face all red?” he pressed his other hand gently against Jisung’s cheek.

“H-he yelled at m-me. A-and I didn’t know what t-to do-.” Jisung struggled to tell Minho what had happened. “I was s-so scared and I didn’t want him to h-hurt you-.”

“Jisung, you really need to calm down. You’re going to pass out.” Minho gently guided him to his bed and made him sit. He stood in front of Jisung and ran his fingers through his hair as he took deep breaths.

“Did Soomin yell at you?” Minho asked after he had calmed down a little.

Jisung nodded.

Minho bit his lip hard, already angry.

“H-he just- he-.” Jisung brought his fingertips up to his cheek.

“Did he hurt you?” Minho asked.

Jisung fought back more tears, tangling his fingers in his sweaters.

“Jisung.” Minho grabbed his arms, a little forcefully. “Did he hurt you?”

“Yes…”

Jisung breathed out the word fearfully. Minho’s face was blank for a moment and he brushed his fingertips lightly over Jisung’s cheek. Then it hardened into pure rage.

“I’ll kill him.” Minho whispered.

He straightened up and turned to the door.

Jisung panicked, leaping up and wrapping his arms around him from behind.

“Please don’t!” he cried. “Please!”

“He can’t get away with this!” Minho replied, trying to step forward but Jisung was hugging him tightly from behind.

“Please don’t leave me!” Jisung switched tactics, desperate to get Minho to stay. “I’m scared! Don’t leave me!”

Minho protectiveness over Jisung in the moment won out over delivering justice to Soomin. He turned around and hugged Jisung again, letting him cry it all out the second time.

Jisung calmed down slowly, Minho staying by his side.

He jumped when the door opened, but it was just Minho’s roommate.

“Hey- oh…” he hesitated when he saw Jisung’s state. “Should I… come back later?”

Jisung shook his head, feeling bad about making him feel uncomfortable in his own room.

“His roommate is a total jerk.” Minho said angrily. “You’re not going back with him. We’ll tell the head of our floor and change your room.”

“Did something happen?” Minho’s roommate sat across from them on his bed.

“He said I stole his laptop, a-and when I argued h-he…” Jisung swallowed awkwardly.

“When I was young… I had some struggles like this.”

Jisung glanced up at his roommate curiously. He actually didn’t know much about him.

“Yeah, Hyunjae told me a little about his past.” Minho nodded.

“I thought if I just sat there and took it, I would be okay.” Hyunjae said. “But it’s honestly best to be brave and make a change.”

Jisung sniffled and nodded. At this point, Soomin was making his life miserable and he shouldn’t be subject to that. He would have to ask to change rooms.

“You can sleep in my bed tonight.” Hyunjae offered kindly. “Since you will probably have to figure it out in the morning.”

“It’s okay, he can sleep in mine.” Minho thanked him for the offer.

“Soomin will come to get me though.” Jisung said nervously.

“We won’t let him in.” Minho said firmly.

Surprisingly, he didn’t come to find Jisung. Maybe he knew it was a lost cause. Jisung slept with Minho, feeling like he could finally get a good night’s sleep without worrying about something.

In the morning, Minho went with him to get the rooms sorted out and file a report about what had happened. Since it was the weekend, Jisung got to go home while Soomin cleared out his things.

He told Changbin all about what had happened and came clean about some of his insecurities. In the end, he felt much better.

The next morning he woke up feeling refreshed and headed downstairs in a good mood.

Changbin gave him a hug, sensing he needed more comfort than usual.

“Would you mind watching Jeongin?” Changbin asked him. “Misun and I will both be busy today and I’m pretty sure Hyunjin has work.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” Jisung nodded.

“I’m sorry to dump this on you when you’re trying to relax but things just came up.” Changbin reached past him to grab a sheet of paper.

“It’s my treat.” Jisung grinned. “I missed that little guy.”

“I will write out his meals for today. Just three and a snack. We’re still on a timed schedule but he may be distracted with you so feed him when he gets hungry.” Changbin handed him his scribbled list.

“Will do.” Jisung nodded.

“Well, I’m off. Have a good day and call me if you need anything.” Changbin rumpled his hair.

“Okay.” Jisung glared at him playfully and smoothed down his hair.

The house was quiet for a little bit until Jeongin came downstairs.

“Good morning.” Jisung immediately lifted him onto his lap. “You look like you had a good sleep.”

He traced the pillow crease line on Jeongin’s cheek. Jeongin grunted and grabbed Jisung’s spoon, opting to finish his bowl of oatmeal instead of getting his own.

“Today, we can do almost whatever you want.” Jeongin wrapped his arms around Jeongin’s middle. He was happy to find he was soft and squishy, finally at a good weight for his age.

“Can we play outside?” Jeongin asked.

“Sure!” Jisung nodded. “We can play lots of things outside. I’m excited!”

He squeezed Jeongin tightly in anticipation.

“Ack!” Jeongin tried to wriggle away from him. “Too tight!”

“Aww, please accept my hug!” Jisung tried to be gentler this time.

“He’s growing out of cuddles.” Hyunjin said from behind them as he joined them in the kitchen.

Jeongin reached for Hyunjin, trying to escape but Jisung held him still.

“He’s mine for the day you can’t take him!” he teased.

“I’ll be at work all day.” Hyunjin smiled at Jeongin stubbornly trying to wiggle out of Jisung’s arms down to the floor.

“Finish the oatmeal and then you can get down.” Jisung told him.

Jeongin whined, but did as he was told.

“I’m heading out now but you two have fun.” Hyunjin waved to them as he strapped Kkami into her vest and leash.

“Alright! What should we do first?” Jisung asked Jeongin. “Play outside?”

“Yes!” Jeongin was quick to shoot off when Jisung set him down.

Jisung rolled his sleeves up, preparing for a long day.

It was fun even though it was a long time to entertain a small child. Jeongin had always been high energy so it was good Jisung could match him.

Jisung was proud of himself for taking care of Jeongin so late. Changbin had called and said they would be home late and Hyunjin went out with a friend. Jisung made a meal for the two of them.

Yes, he did count microwave mac and cheese as a true meal.

A little bit before Jeongin’s bedtime, he climbed onto Jisung’s lap willingly.

“Did I wear you out?” Jisung tapped his button nose.

“Uh huh.” Jeongin nodded.

“You’re my baby.” Jisung pressed a kiss to Jeongin’s forehead. “A sleepy baby.”

Jeongin rubbed his eyes with his fists, his small mouth stretching in a yawn.

“I should put you in your bed.” Jisung said, petting his back.

“I sleep here.” Jeongin decided, snuggling against Jisung.

“Well now you’ve assumed koala position, I guess I can’t say no.” Jisung laughed softly and gave him a tiny squeeze. Jeongin grunted and lay his head on his chest.

“I miss you so much when I’m away.” Jisung pressed a kiss to his head. “I want to come back home and be with all of you.”

Jeongin snuffled in response and let out a sleepy sigh.

Jisung let out a sigh of his own. When Jeongin woke up, Jisung would be gone again. It made Jisung sad to think that he was missing out on Jeongin growing up. But there really wasn’t much he could do with their age difference.

He ended up falling asleep with Jeongin laying on top of him on the couch.

He was woken up by Changbin lifting Jeongin into his arms to put him in his bed. Jisung dragged himself up and retired to his own room as well.

When he returned to campus the next day, he had a new roommate. They seemed nice. Awfully quiet, but they would do. Jisung wandered back to Minho’s room by the end of the day.

“Hey.” Minho raised his hand in greeting from where he sat at his desk.

“Hi.” Jisung shut the door behind him softly.

“Feeling a little better?” Minho asked.

“Yeah.” Jisung went to stand next to him.

“Do you need something?” Minho looked up at him curiously when he didn’t move away.

“You’ll think I’m weird.” Jisung looked away, feeling shy.

“No I won’t.” Minho laughed. “Tell me.”

“C-Can I sit with you for a little bit?” Jisung asked.

“Oh yeah, just pull over Hyunjae’s desk chair.” Minho gestured across the room.

“No-I mean-.” Jisung fiddled with his sleeves nervously.

“Oh… yeah of course.” Minho scooted his chair back willingly.

Jisung straddled him, easing down carefully since he didn’t want to be heavy. He laid his chin on Minho’s shoulder so he could still work without his view being obstructed.

“Am I too heavy?” Jisung whispered.

“Not at all.” Minho adjusted him on his lap and returned to what he was doing.

“Is it weird?” Jisung asked fearfully.

“No.” Minho shrugged. “I’m your safe place, right?”

“Safe place?” Jisung was confused.

“It makes you feel safe to be around me.” Minho explained. “When you’re stressed, you feel better being around me, am I right?”

“Maybe.” Jisung was embarrassed Minho saw through him so well. “Who is your safe place?”

“You.” Minho leaned his head to the side to bump against Jisung’s.

“I’m not protective, or encouraging, or anything.” Jisung frowned.

“It makes me feel good if you feel safe and encouraged.” Minho replied. “I guess we’re just better together.”

“Maybe…” Jisung smiled at his words.

“Just don’t fall asleep on me because I won’t carry you to your room.” Minho threatened.

“I won’t.” Jisung grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologizes if there are any mistakes, I am working hard on editing my new stories and didn't get around to editing this one. I will throw caution to the wind and post it since you all have waited so long! I hope you are looking forward to my new stories! I am blazing through them right now so they may be up sooner than expected!<3


	9. Minho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY BACK! It has been 10 days since I last updated! That’s crazy! I am so sorry for taking so long! BUT I decided I would hold off and post a bunch all at once kind of like a Christmas present!   
> I thought it would be fitting to post this chapter along with the first chapter of my new story with Minho and Jisung + baby! Its name is Daisy!  
> I will post a new chapter of Snow tomorrow and ALSO, I will post a new story which is a surprise! It’s Changbin, Minho and Seungmin centric and I have loved writing it so much! It’s been sitting almost finished in my drafts for so long and I wasn’t going to post it but oh well! Here it is for Christmas! The title is Lilac. It’s pretty dang sad so I will warn you… but I made it more informative for people who love learning about kids or raising kids!   
> On to this chapter though! It’s a wild ride…

The most important day of the semester was Minho’s presentation day. It was the day before graduation where Minho was able to present his capstone and internship activities. He had been working at a group home for the semester with Minji as his partner.

They had been able to do a lot of counseling and therapy sessions which was good practice and benefitted the community. As their time was coming to a close, Minho had prepared in advance for his presentation.

He had invited his family of course and Jisung and Hyunjae. It was a nice event so he had dressed up a bit.

“A lot of people are here.” Felix commented to him as they walked in to the presentation event room together.

“There are.” Minho nodded.

He spotted Minji and waved at her. She made her way over to them and greeted Minho’s family.

“I remember you!” she waved at Felix and then patted his head.

“Remember my friend?” Minho swung their linked hands back and forth. Felix nodded shyly.

“I’ll see you later when we give the presentation.” Minji told him. “I have to get back to my boyfriend!”

“See you later.” Minho nodded.

“Where is Jisung?” Felix looked around.

“Mm… not here yet.” Minho shrugged. “Oh! There is Hyunjae!”

Felix perked up at the mention of his roommate. He admired the older boy like he did Minho.

It grew closer and closer to the time they were to start presentations and Jisung was nowhere in sight. Minho kept glancing around the crowd to try to find him.

Eventually he had to sit down as things started. It was strange Jisung wasn’t there. It was even more strange that he still hadn’t shown up as Minho had to go up and present. He finished without spotting Jisung in the audience once.

Afterwards they had a reception and Minho enjoyed spending time with his family and other friends. Jisung faded to the back of his mind but he still glanced around for him occasionally.

He didn’t even send a text or anything. Minho pocketed his phone and decided to put it out of his mind and enjoy the moment.

The evening was nice and he felt proud of being able to share his accomplishments with his family and friends. It was late when they said goodbye and Minho headed back to the dorm.

As he was walking there, his phone vibrated to indicate a message. It was Jisung.

Minho didn’t know what kind of message he expected, but he didn’t expect the one he got.

Jisung had messaged him in excitement about staying late with some other people in his music department to use the studios.

Minho just stared at his phone, feeling disbelieving. There was only one explanation.

Jisung had completely forgot.

Minho tilted his head up at the night sky, not sure if he felt more hurt or angry. Since he wasn’t sure, he messaged Jisung shortly to come see him in his room when he was done.

Hyunjae had gone home with his own family after the presentation so Minho was alone in his room. He changed into sweats and a hoodie and sat on his bed.

Jisung had forgotten his presentation.

Repeating it in his mind only made it worse. He knew Jisung hadn’t tried to be malicious, but it showed it wasn’t his top priority. Maybe Minho had only mentioned it a few times, but he should have saved the date.

When Jisung finally came to his room, Minho felt numb.

“You’ll never believe what happened!” Jisung burst in excitedly. “Some people in my class asked if I wanted to record with them! And then we went to these studios and they were amazing!”

Jisung kicked off his shoes and lay back on the bed next to Minho.

“I didn’t think I would make any friends in my classes but they were actually really nice!” he continued, oblivious to Minho’s cold demeanor. “I could have spent hours there but the studios close after a certain amount of time. They said we can go back later though!”

When he finished, an uncharacteristic silence permeated the space between them.

“So?” Jisung asked. “Don’t you think that’s cool?”

Minho stared at his phone and nodded once.

“Why are you in a mood?” Jisung sat up and poked his side lightly.

Minho frowned at the teasing and knocked his hand away before he could do it again.

“Did you have a bad day?” Jisung asked.

“I’m just tired.” Minho felt defeated. “I’m going to sleep now so… go back to your room.”

“It’s not even that late yet!” Jisung frowned.

“Well I’m tired so it doesn’t matter what time it is.” Minho set his phone aside. “Turn out the light as you go out.”

“I thought you wanted to talk or something because you messaged me.” Jisung frowned.

“Just go please.” Minho pushed him off the bed so he could get under the covers.

“Jeez… you’re being confusing.” Jisung huffed.

Minho lay with his back to him, not feeling sleepy at all.

“I guess I’ll just…” Jisung trailed off.

Minho waited for him to leave but it was silent.

“You wore your nice clothes today…” a rustle was heard as Jisung lifted the clothes he had left hanging on his chair. “Was today…”

Another long moment, presumably while Jisung checked his phone calendar.

“Minho-.” Jisung voice cracked and then a moment later he was climbing on top of Minho and crushing him in a hug. “I missed it? I forgot it was today.”

“Whatever.” Minho grumbled. “Now let me sleep.”

“I’m the worst ever!” Jisung gasped. “I was so caught up in everything that was happening that I forgot it was tonight.”

“I get it.” Minho mumbled.

“I’m so sorry! I really didn’t mean it!” Jisung squeezed him tighter.

“Okay, okay- I really want to sleep now so can you get- out?” Minho huffed as he pushed his forearm against Jisung’s chest to move him away.

Finally the younger boy relented and moved away from him.

“Really Minho- I swear it was an accident.”

“Please just go sleep.”

Jisung left after another minute or so, leaving Minho alone in the dark to feel hurt all over again.

Jisung apologized again in the morning and Minho brushed it off. Even when he told Jisung it was fine, he still followed him around like a lost puppy, apologizing over and over.

By the end of the week he was still being clingy and weird about it.

Minho got an escape by going to his last day of internship. It was sad to have it be over, but it was also a sense of accomplishment that carried to Minho. He picked up Jisung’s birthday gift before heading to work. It was his birthday that day. Minho would meet up with him later for a birthday celebration.

“We did it! Our first experience!” Minho said to Minji when they were done and had officially walked out of the doors. They stood on the steps and took a deep breath.

Minji just nodded. She had been in a strange mood all day.

“You’re not happy?” Minho nudged her arm.

“I am, I just-.”

To Minho’s shock, she started to cry. He sat down with her on the steps and patted her back.

“Are you sad to leave?” he asked.

“No, I’m sad because I made a big mistake!” she cried.

“What kind of mistake?”

“I’m graduating in a month or two and I’m- I’m pregnant!”

Minho froze for a long period of time before snapping back to reality.

“Oh- congratulations…” he wasn’t sure what to say.

“I talked to my boyfriend and he said I can’t keep it. He said it would ruin my life and his life- his family feels the same.” Minji sobbed.

Minho blinked at her, still surprised she was pregnant.

“I don’t want to… I can’t-.” Minji shivered. “But I can’t keep my baby either!”

“They won’t let you go through with the pregnancy?” Minho asked gently.

“They said they would if I let the baby be adopted but I know how it is! It’s so hard to find someone especially in my position! How do I know who to trust?”

Minho understood. It felt like a wild card to give the baby up even if she decided to go through with the pregnancy. It was a daunting process either way.

“If I knew someone who wanted the baby, I would feel better.” she wiped at her tears. “I just feel like I’m the only one who wants the baby…”

“I want the baby.”

“I know, I know.” Minji sniffled. “I put myself in this situation.”

“No.” Minho held her arms. “I want the baby.”

She blinked at him for a moment.

“Y-You can’t. You’re graduating at the end of the semester… you can’t- have a baby!” she argued.

“If you have no other choice then, I want the baby.” Minho said with conviction. “I mean it.”

“You don’t mean it.” Minji tried to bring him back to reality. “You have your life ahead of you! If you take my baby it will be ruined!”

“A baby can’t ruin my life.” Minho smiled softly.

“You barely even know me… why would you do this?”

Minji was right to be confused. It didn’t make sense.

“Because that little baby deserves a chance in the world.” Minho replied. “You have the space and approval to have it if you give it away, right? I’ll give your baby a chance.”

“You really don’t know what you’re saying.” she persisted. “It’s not like you’re prepared either.”

“Maybe not, but you don’t have many options. Let me be an option.” Minho said sincerely. “I know it sounds crazy but all that matters to me is if that baby lives. I want it to live.”

“I do to.” Minji sniffled.

“We have time to figure things out right?” Minho told her. “I’ll do what it takes. We can talk to your family about it.”

“What about your family?”

“Even though I love and respect their opinion, I’m an adult now and make my own decisions. Though I do have a feeling they will understand in this situation.” Minho nodded.

“You really mean it?” she double checked.

“I really mean it.”

Minho knew how unbelievable it all was but he just knew deep down that there was a reason he was put there at the right place and the right time. Minji needed someone and her baby needed someone. Minho thought he could be that someone. He would make it work.

When Minji’s boyfriend picked her up, they talked for a long time, all the way until the sun went down. There was a lot to process and plan ahead for the future.

When Minho got back to the dorms later that night, his head felt crammed full of information and thoughts.

Minho was surprised when he got a knock on his door. He really didn’t need anything else tonight. His roommate was sleeping so it was up to him to answer it.

He didn’t expect Jisung to be standing outside his door.

“Hey…” Minho stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him.

“Can I talk to you?” Jisung whispered.

Guilt hit Minho hard. Jisung’s eyes were red and he looked so small swallowed in the hoodie Minho had bought for him.

Realization hit late. It was his birthday and Minho hadn’t said a word to him all day, much less been there for him.

He followed Jisung to his room. His new roommate wasn’t there so they had some privacy. Minho hesitated. Should he run back to his room and get his gift first? Would that make things any better? He didn’t even know where to start.

“I’m sorry.”

It was Jisung who apologized first. Minho froze. Why was Jisung apologizing?

“Please don’t be mad at me anymore!” Jisung burst into tears, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Jisung… I’m not…” Minho didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to your presentation!” Jisung sobbed. “I promise I’ll never do it again!”

Minho stared at him. Did he really think Minho was still angry over that? Did he think Minho not celebrating his birthday was payback?

“I’m not trying to be annoying!” Jisung shook his head. “I’m not trying to be bad! Just- please don’t stop being my friend.”

“Jisung…” Minho was so close to crying himself.

He surged forward and hugged Jisung as close to himself as he could.

“I am so sorry Jisung! I was so awful!” he said with a tremble in his voice. “I didn’t mean to go missing today!”

“You scared me!” Jisung hit Minho lightly with his fist.

“I didn’t want to miss it…” Minho repeated. “Things just came up and-.”

“Your dad called you and you didn’t pick up!” Jisung pulled away from him. “What were you doing all day?”

“I-It’s a lot to explain.” Minho replied weakly. “I promise it had nothing to do with you.”

“Whatever.” Jisung mumbled and wiped his tears away with a frown.

“Can I talk to you about something?” Minho blurted out; his mind still heavy with what he had promised.

Jisung nodded curtly.

“I don’t even know where to start…” Minho reached for Jisung with shaky hands, pulling him back into a tight hug. He needed support more than ever.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Jisung grumbled.

“I adopted a baby today.”

Silence.

Minho closed his eyes while waiting for Jisung’s response. He knew how it sounded. Absolutely crazy and awfully unwise.

“What are you talking about? You can’t do that.” Jisung replied back. It didn’t sound like he believed him. Maybe he thought he was playing a joke.

“I did…” Minho breathed. “I told Minji I would save her baby.”

“Save her- what?” Jisung pushed away from him again. “You aren’t making any sense!”

“Minji’s pregnant and… things are complicated, but I told her I would take her baby so she didn’t have to get rid of it.”

“Wha… why would you do that?” Jisung whispered.

“If I don’t take the baby, no one else will.” Minho tried to make him understand. “I know it’s crazy! I just couldn’t let her go to that appointment tomorrow!”

“That’s what you were doing on my birthday…” Jisung was still heavily confused.

They sat on Jisung’s bed and talked. Since Jisung’s roommate was gone for the night, they stayed up until early in the morning talking.

“Will you help me?” Minho finally asked.

Jisung was laying against him in the bed as he had become more and more sleepy.

“If you are sure it’s the right thing, then I’ll always support you.” Jisung trailed off into a yawn.

“We still have nine months to really figure it out.” Minho replied, still feeling his own doubts.

“It’s very on-brand of you to be doing something noble while I thought you had forgotten my birthday.” Jisung snuggled against him.

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” Minho whispered.

“You are definitely crazy. But a good kind of crazy.”

“I guess so.” Minho grinned and pulled the blanket over the two of them.

“Goodnight.” Jisung sighed.

“Goodnight…”

Minho still felt wide awake.

“Tomorrow I’ll have to tell my dad…”


End file.
